


The Fabric of Reality

by Neverever



Category: Marvel 616
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Be Careful What You Wish For, Comes Back Wrong, Cosmic Cube, Falling In Love, M/M, Reality Bending, Sacrifice, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 05:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21502822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever
Summary: Tony loves being Iron Man and the Avengers. But anyone can see that the Avengers are struggling as a team. While he helps Jan solve their problems, Tony meets freelance Artist Steve Rogers. Tony believes that everything is going to turn out great -- the Avengers will pull together, Tony has a gorgeous boyfriend, and the supervillains will be defeated. What more could the modern superhero and CEO want out of life?Except that Tony has a few secrets that threaten to undermine his happiness.For one thing, Tony remembers that Captain America was an Avenger when everyone else thinks he died at the end of World War II. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Janet Van Dyne
Comments: 48
Kudos: 206
Collections: 2019 Captain America/Iron Man Big Bang





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2019 Captain America-Iron Man Big Bang.
> 
> I worked with the wonderful Jayjayverse. The art to accompany the fic is stunning and amazing and can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505639) and [here](https://jayjayverse.tumblr.com/image/189198298439). Thank you so much!
> 
> A big thank-you to my long-time beta, arms_plutonic for all the help since the beginning. Thank you to zappedbysnow for the critical read and to Navaan for the good solid advice.

He had been born to run the world, to rule over industries and technology, to make life and death decisions based on strict economic sense. Life had a way of upsetting all the best laid plans. Tony had mostly made his peace with the bargains he’d struck since the cave in Afghanistan, so he wasn’t going to complain.

Certainly not on this gorgeous fall day with a cloudless blue sky. Trees were covered in red and gold leaves in Central Park, a perfect match for the superhero costume. Iron Man in the skies and Iron Trees in the park. Perfect match as long as the trees lasted. Tony knew in his bones that nothing ever lasted.

Tony swung around in his chair to look out his office window. He had one of the best views in the city from his Stark Industries office but no direct views of Central Park. Excellent day for a fly-by over the city, he could really open up the jet boots and feel the wind against the armor. 

If he did that, he would have to stop by the mansion too. Jan would expect it. She had been pointedly asking about Iron Man since the last Avengers mission a week or so ago.

“Tony, your two pm appointment is here,” Bambi said over the intercom.

“Appointment?”

“Yeah, that dealer with the Captain America items. You set up the meeting last week --”

Right. He had set up that appointment. Tony toed the carpet to swivel his chair back and forth. He eyed the sky again, body still itching to get into the armor and go flying. 

“Tell him I’ll buy whatever he’s selling --- and whatever he has for Captain America in his shop -- and Pepper can take it from there.”

“Okayyy. If that’s what you want. He is here now though.”

Tony ignored the unspoken question of why. “Set up an appointment with Janet Van Dyne at the mansion. Clear my calendar for the rest of the day.”

“Will do,” Bambi replied.

Tony paid her well for all the headaches he gave her. She sure wasn’t going to be happy with all the instagram posts from Iron Man’s flight around New York. He was going to be accused of goofing off with his bodyguard again, he could hear Bambi right now.

But what was the fun of having a fully functional suit of flying armor if he couldn’t use it every now and then?

Besides, Bambi was already annoyed with him about his Captain America memorabilia collection. He liked collecting, it wasn’t an obsession at all, not like Bambi thought. He had even recently told Pepper to box up everything and store it. He had his reasons. 

He jumped to his feet, ready to sneak down the back stairwell. Off to fly, where everything was great and nothing was wrong. No red, white, and blue allowed.

~~~~~

The next day, Tony stood waiting for Happy on Fifth Avenue not far from the Avengers mansion in between meetings. These negotiations with Dane Whitman and Simon Williams were going on far too long and, at this point, he was frustrated enough to turn down even a decent counter offer for Williams Innovations. He’d spent the morning in a hot, stuffy conference room going over document after document in detail with lawyers and tech people with no resolution in sight.

The phone buzzed in his pocket with a text from Happy that he was delayed in traffic. If Tony remembered correctly -- and with a photographic memory he would -- there was an excellent coffee shop not far from mansion, just a few blocks over. He could grab something hot and caffeinated and Happy could pick him up there on their way to the Seaport for more meetings.

Tony dashed into the crowded coffee shop. The line was moving at a good clip at least. After placing his order, Tony stepped aside to wait at the pick-up spot. He glanced around the shop and the filled tables, catching sight of someone out of the corner of his eye.

He did a double-take. Just a person sitting at a table with a stylus pressed against his lips, oblivious to the crowd around him.

Steve.

It had to be Steve. As if every blond, blue-eyed, six-foot-two-inch tall man weighing 220 pounds in New York was automatically named Steve. With blond hair like sunshine and a brown leather jacket on his broad shoulders, looking like he’d just walked out of the pages of a men’s fitness magazine. And what was worse was the large black portfolio sitting in the chair opposite Steve.

With a queasy shiver, Tony tore his eyes away. Before he walked over there. Or worse, before Steve noticed him staring. 

Mercifully, the barista handed him his coffee, springing him from coffee shop jail and onto the freedom of the sidewalks. 

Tony slid into the back seat of the waiting town car. Happy adjusted the rear-view mirror. “Okay there, boss? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He took a deep breath and looked out the side window. He could not see Steve. If Tony had any sense, if he could ever deny himself, if he had an ounce of willpower, he’d forget he’d ever seen Steve and move on as if today never happened.

Right, like he was capable of that.

~~~~~

“Good to see you, Tony.” Jan greeted him with a broad smile. Tony had known that she was the Wasp since the founding of the Avengers. 

Tony scanned around the room Jan had claimed as the Avengers Chair’s office. He had apparently interrupted her painting since she was standing in paint-covered jeans and held a roller brush. She pulled the baseball cap off her head. “I’m going for a more professional office look -- less college dorm room,” she explained. She’d put some thought into it, based on all the color swatches on the walls and the large design board on a covered table.

The room had originally been a small parlor when his mother’s family owned the mansion. Made sense that Jan would renovate the room into an office. It was right off the main foyer, where guests, police and SHIELD agents could come and go without entering the back of the mansion where the Avengers trained and lived. 

“So, what can I help the Avengers Chair with this month?” 

“A lot. Let’s go to the library -- I’m working out of there.”

Tony inhaled sharply. Not the library. He wasn’t going to ever step in there again if he could help it. Not without --. “How about the kitchen? We can spread out on the table.”

“Um, sure, if you want.”

He could feel an emptiness walking through the mansion. His eyes kept looking for little things, like a bulletin board with a training schedule or a pile of newspapers on a kitchen counter, signs of someone who was not there. 

The alcove to the side of the kitchen was filled with a heavy, sturdy table specially designed for the team. Tony poured a cup of coffee from a coffee machine and looked out the windows at the gardens outside full of plants waiting for the landscapers’ fall clean-up.

“Shame it’s too cold to open any of the windows,” Jan said. She plugged in her laptop and set down a pile of folders. 

An hour later, Jan had completely briefed Tony on all Avengers business, including the planned Halloween trick-or-treating event. “Assuming we’re not called out or anything.”

“That’s it?” Tony asked. “We could have talked over the phone or met for dinner or coffee.”

“I’m not giving you an excuse to order a pumpkin spice latte in front of me.” Jan shuffled her folders into a neat pile. “Honestly, running the Avengers isn’t much different than running my fashion business. I’ve got that down pat -- the budgeting, paying the bills, vetting the vendors, scheduling.” There was a reason that Jan was the longest serving Avengers chair. 

She glanced around the kitchen as if not to be overheard. Although no one else was around, she dropped her voice and leaned closer to Tony. “It’s just -- it’s everything else that’s not going smoothly.”

“Anyone official giving you a hard time? The Avengers are a paramilitary organization sanctioned by the UN and the world’s governments. I can show documentation, agreements --”

She waved him off. “Not that. Things should -- be better when we’re fighting in the field. That’s a feeling I have. I thought about recruiting -- maybe that would fix it.”

“What’s wrong with the roster?”

“Nothing -- no one’s left or planning to leave. Hank talks a big game, but I’m not letting him go -- I’m in, he’s in. Thor’s good and I’m assuming we’ve got Iron Man too.”

Tony nodded his agreement.

“I’m figuring out how to work with Hawkeye and the twins -- they’re good people.” Jan frowned. She ran through the roster, ticking names off on her fingers. “We’re at 7 people now. Remember when it was just the four of us? Not counting the Hulk.”

Five was a better number than four. Tony remembered when it was just the five of them. He blinked and imagined Cap sitting right there at the table with them, a legal pad filled with notes in his perfect neat handwriting on his left side and hot coffee to the right.

“That’s a good-sized team,” Tony pointed out.

“You’ve almost talked me out of recruiting,” Jan said, then frowned. “The team hasn’t quite gelled yet.”

Tony’s phone buzzed in his pocket with texts and warnings about his schedule. “I have to go,” he said apologetically. He’d been ready to leave as soon as he’d walked into the mansion.

Jan walked him to the foyer. “I wish you could stay for the afternoon, Tony,” Jan said. “We have a team meeting in an hour.”

Tony shook his head as he tugged on his leather coat and looped a scarf around his neck. The sun shining in the foyer of the Stark mansion belied the late October cold waiting for him outside. “I’m headed to Park Slope for a meeting and my schedule is booked until I leave for San Francisco in a few days.”

He should schedule lunch with Jan and Hank before he left -- he missed talking to them. But he didn’t know the newer members of the team all that well and he would prefer to avoid Clint’s pointed questions about Iron Man. He glanced up at the second floor landing out of morbid curiosity about who was living now in the old master suite. 

“Always busy -- I bet you have plenty of dates lined up too. Nice pictures in the Bugle, by the way. What’s her name?”

“Celia. It’s nothing serious.” Celia, an up and coming model, needed a flashy date to get her name out there and Tony needed to look less like a hermit and keep up his public persona as a ladies’ man. A match made in PR heaven.

Jan rearranged Tony’s scarf. “Don’t be a stranger, Tony. The team always appreciates it when you’re here. I’ll work on those equipment requests and email me Iron Man’s availability for training with the team.” 

“You’re the best, Jan.”

She snorted. “Save it for when the Maria Stark Foundation hits me up for another donation.” 

“A charity worthy of all your charity dollars.” He gave her his best fundraising smile.

Jan laughed back at him.

~~~~~

Tony’s San Francisco trip was cut short when the team was called in to stop an attack by Super-Adaptoid. After a long, miserable afternoon, Tony could feel the bruises forming as he stood next to a subdued Wasp listening to a furious Fury. Ordinarily they wouldn’t have bothered with Fury -- Jan would just send him a courtesy report for his files. But the attack happened near the Baxter Building where Fury had been meeting with Richards.

“What’s wrong with your team?” a particularly pissed-off Fury snarled at Iron Man and Jan. “You’re all a bunch of amateurs parading around as heroes. Get it together or I’ll have you shut down.”

The armor caught the heat-signature of Hawkeye heading their way. Tony sent a message to Ant-man to hold Hawkeye back. Hawkeye had a large chip on his shoulder and a sarcastic mouth, and was just the tinderbox to set off Fury even more. Tony did not have the time to deal with an irate Director of SHIELD in his office this week.

“All things considered, we didn’t do badly,” he said in Iron Man’s metallic tone. Around them, SHIELD agents were hauling off the remains of the android.

Fury sighed in exasperation. “You need direction, training and structure.” He poked a finger at Iron Man. “You were lucky today.”

“We’re here to help,” Reed said. He’d shown up with Fury and was attempting to be helpful. “Call on the Fantastic Four if things get too dicey.”

“I’m not doing that,” Jan muttered to Iron Man once Fury stomped off with Reed. “We can handle anything, I know we can. It’s just that Super-Adaptoid is -- well, hard to fight and it’s been a while.”

“I agree,” Iron Man replied. 

Jan smacked her forehead. “I have to report this to Tony Stark, you know. He’s not going to be happy.”

“He’ll understand.” Boy, did Tony understand.

“This was his dream, the Avengers. I don’t want to disappoint him.”

Jan, you could never disappoint me, Tony said silently. Sometimes, it’d be easier to not have a secret identity. All he could settle for was a comforting hand on her shoulder.

His traitorous brain prompted that the fight would have gone different if Cap were there. Tony clenched his fist tightly to suppress the thought. Not an option. Not now. He had to forget.

~~~~~

Like clockwork, the nightmares came that night. The cave, explosions, heavy tread outside the bedroom door. A darkened lab with a glowing cube floating on a pedestal --

Tony shook awake, sweating and heart beating furiously. Unable to close his eyes, unable to go to sleep. 

Dread seeped into his bones.

He remembered what had happened when that cube fell on the floor. He could hear the bullets bouncing off the armor. 

He sprang from the bed and headed towards the workshop. Anything to cut the dreams out of his head. 

Three am, stale coffee, upgrade on propulsion system. Just what the doctor ordered.

~~~~~

“What’s on your mind tonight?” Celia asked. 

They were on another arranged date. She’d been flirting with one of the waitresses and had enlisted Tony in her cause to get the woman’s number. 

“Sorry. Work.”

“We’re all thinking about work,” she replied. “Like that guy over there? He’s one of C-suite guys at the cosmetic company I’m hoping to do a campaign for. If I could just get into ads -- I might break into tv.”

Tony listened with half an ear to Celia’s plan for conquering all media while he fell back into his thoughts. He hadn’t been thinking about work, he’d been thinking about Cap. This was exactly the sort of restaurant he would have taken Cap when Cap lost one of their bets. 

Steve would have fidgeted a bit when they arrived, uncomfortable with the waiters and the fancy menu. The piping hot fresh bread would have warmed him up and the rare, aged steak would set him even more at ease so that Steve couldn’t help but talk and talk. They would have talked until they shut the restaurant down about everything and anything. Tony would fall even more in love as Steve talked about fighting supervillains and all the good that they were doing in the world. 

One would have to have a cold, blackened heart not to fall in love with Steve, with his earnest smile, smarts, and dry wit. Tony would have done anything for him. Still would.

“Ugh, let me tell you about the latest YouTube beauty blogger -- the worst thing ever ….” Celia chattered on.

Tony ordered more wine.

~~~~~

He avoided the mansion and the team as long as he could. He even cancelled a meeting with Jan, telling her he was too busy to get away from Stark Industries right then.

A surprise early November squall left the city dusted with snow when Tony made his way back to his penthouse apartment. He shook the snow off his wool coat in the foyer before hanging it up in the hall closet. 

The Stark Tower apartment hummed quietly as the automated house systems turned on lights and boosted the heat. Just as he liked it. He made himself a drink and settled down in a leather chair. The New York city skyline stretched out beautifully below him under the grey sky. 

Friday announced, “Boss, Janet Van Dyne wants to talk to you.”

“Patch her through.” He wasn’t up for the call. He felt like he’d been hit by a big, dirty stick all day. Must be the lack of sleep. But it was Jan -- there had to be a reason.

“She’s here. In the lobby.”

Well, that was not good. He always met the Avengers at the mansion and maintained a firm line between work and superheroing. All the better to keep his Iron Man secret safe. “Send her up.”

“Sorry to bother you at home, Tony,” Jan said when he opened the door. “But I was in the neighborhood.”

He offered Jan a drink from the sideboard bar.

“I love the view of Central Park from up here,” she said as she stood near the living room windows. “You don’t get that good a view from the mansion.”

“What brings you my way?”

“We’ve -- the team’s been asked to participate in a documentary on the Avengers. I haven’t heard of this production company before -- I researched them and they appear to do good work. It’s for the festival circuit. I don’t know -- the proposal should be run by the lawyers and the producer is pushing for an answer.”

“Do you think it’ll be good publicity?” he asked. 

Jan hemmed and hawed. “We could use some good publicity, now that we have the new members and after that messy fight with Black Knight. But it’s not that clear cut -- I wanted to talk to you about it at our last meeting, but then you cancelled.”

Tony arched an eyebrow. “That important?”

“For one thing, they want to interview Iron Man. They want to talk about the Hulk and the formation of the team. And, um, they want to include a sequence on the day we found Captain America’s body in the ice.” She put a hand on Tony’s arm. “I know you took that very hard, Tony, when we told you.”

To his credit, Tony didn’t flinch. The memories of finding the body and of Jan and Hank telling him about it surfaced, like something he had watched on television or heard on the news. He knew it had happened -- Jan wasn’t a liar and she wouldn’t have made it up. 

You lived that, you were there, his mind prompted him. You were there in the sub, when Thor saw the body. You opened the hatch for Ant-man to pull him in. Watched when Ant-man pulled off the disintegrating army uniform. Heard when Jan said to Iron Man, “That’s Captain America.” 

And after, Ant-man and Wasp stood next to the couch where you were sitting and they told you as Tony Stark that the Avengers found Captain America’s body. You went to the state funeral in DC. If you put on the suit and flew to Arlington right now, you would see the memorial for Captain America.

And you don’t even know Captain America’s name because it’s classified.No one knows Captain America’s name except for a few government officials and Fury. Fury knows everything. There was no reason on earth that you, Tony Stark, Iron Man and CEO and majority owner of Stark Industries, would know that.

You never flew with Cap holding onto the armor, his laughter pure music in your ear when you landed. Or saw him pull off the cowl after sparring and tell you that you did good. 

Tony could use a little “you did good out there” from Cap right about now.

He feigned indifference. “Why do they think that’s important? Fighting Loki was more interesting.”

“The filmmakers called it a defining moment for the team. I want to do the documentary, but if it’s going to make you uncomfortable --”

“Sic the PR team on ‘em and see what happens.”

“Thanks, Tony. I’ll keep you in the loop.” She looked at him closely. “Are you doing anything tonight? I could call Hank and we could go for dinner?”

“Sure, I don’t have anything. Why now?”

She shrugged. “You look like you could use a night out with friends. I probably shouldn’t ask -- you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

Tony desperately needed a distraction. “You’re right, I could do with some cheering up. Call Hank while I go get changed.”

All he could think about during dinner was Steve. He wouldn’t let the memory of Captain America’s name be stripped away from him. His name was Steve. And he had flashing blue eyes and he’d tell Iron Man excitedly about any scientific discovery he’d read about. He stayed up late reading anything he could get his hands on, methodically going through the library tome by tome. He had a library of science fiction, non-fiction and history books on his tablet ---

Later that night, Tony found a book Steve had given him in the nightstand next to his bed. But he didn’t find the note that Steve had slipped in between the pages, the note in Steve’s clear and beautiful handwriting with a little winghead doodle. Tony turned the book over in his hands, a collection of engineering stories, the type of book marketed as a gift for people who like engineers. No one but Steve would have given him the book. 

He put it back in the nightstand, trying not to think about how the book got there.

~~~~~

When he died, Tony was sure the Bugle would run the inevitable headline: “Curiosity Finally Kills Stark.” Because that was exactly how Tony was going to die -- poking in the wrong corners, asking the wrong deadly questions. 

Two in the morning and more nightmares and here he was sitting in his kitchen. Weak. Unable to fight it any longer.

Steve. 

It was all about Steve. He wouldn’t be happy until he scratched his itch. 

“Friday? Find me everything about Steve Rogers.”

“Steve Rogers, boss? A new supervillain? A threat to the company? Which Steve Rogers?”

A memory of a dream he once had when he was optimistic and hopeful for a new world. “I don’t know. Civilian, probably. Blond. Not much younger than me -- maybe mid 20s? Tall. Based in New York or travelled here.”

“I’ll get to work on it, boss.” If Tony had programmed his AI to sigh, she would have.

Tony closed his eyes. He was caught between wanting to know if he was right about the man in the coffee shop and not wanting to know what Friday might find.

“Boss, I’ve located ten Steve Rogers in New York and the immediate New Jersey/Connecticut area. Only one matches your parameters. That Steve Rogers currently resides in the Red Hook neighborhood in Brooklyn. 2014 graduate of Pratt Institute, Bachelors in Fine Arts. Currently enrolled in the MFA program at Empire State. Born in New York City, borough of Manhattan, to Sarah and Joseph Rogers in 1992, lived in the Lower East Side in a series of apartments until his mother’s death. He works as a freelance artist …”

Made sense, Tony supposed. “Save the biography -- what else is out there about him?” 

“I found additional information about this Steve Rogers in social media accounts, education records, exhibits, work history, parents’ death, involvement in activist groups --”

“No military service?”

“None on record.”

“No experimental medical procedures?”

“None on record.”

“Like he was born that way.”

“Boss?”

“Never mind.”

“Do you want me to contact him?”

Tony rubbed his chin. He could, you know, just call Steve. Talk to him. Catch up on the news. Find out if he remembered -- “No. Wait. Does he have a girlfriend or --”

“A scan of his social media accounts, newspapers and legal records does not indicate that he is currently in a relationship. He does appear to have close relationships with a Bernadette Rosenthal and a Sam Wilson.”

“Well. Okay.”

“Boss? What’s next?”

“Pull up the schematics for the arc reactor. We’re going to figure out how to prevent electrical shorts once and for all.” 

When in doubt, throw yourself into work, Tony thought. He tapped the holograms arrayed in front of him. Work would make him forget.


	2. Chapter 2

Regardless of all his failings, Tony was, at heart, an excellent business man. He made deals all the time -- the best ones were when both parties walked away somewhere between slightly happy and slightly unhappy. Meant both sides got something they wanted.

Dane Whitman smiled nervously at Tony, seated across the table flanked by an R&D vice-president and Stark Industries lawyers. Dane had designed software that Tony’s R&D people had also been developing, but his version was complete with cleaner code. Tony didn’t want Dane’s company, just the software. 

It would be the biggest sale of Dane’s life and Tony had all the power here. 

“What’s your best price, Dane?” Tony asked.

“150k.”

Decent price. Tony would, of course, have to check for malicious code and all that. He’d likely want to hire the programmer who wrote it and get proprietary ownership. 

“Let’s talk details. Depending on due diligence.”

A Stark Industries lawyer called a halt to the discussions. “Mr. Whitman, I see you’ve had dealings with AIM. Can you explain?”

Whitman paled. “I don’t remember --”

“The Williams Innovations contract -- you provided coding and development services to them for a project called ‘Dimension Bridge’?”

Tony shot Whitman a look. “We don’t work with people who work with AIM.”

“Call Simon, he’ll clear it all up. I swear.”

Tony tuned out the rest of the conversation as the lawyers wrapped up the meeting. Nothing good ever came from working with AIM.

~~~~~

By now, in the middle of November, all of Tony’s nightmares began the same way. 

He was in a complex of long, dark, twisting hallways that all looked the same. Someone was with him -- he couldn’t turn to see who or he’d lose them. He needed that person, he knew that. He went into a dark lab, turned on the computers to download information. Unnamed, unknown dangers lurked in the shadows. There was a glowing cube on a pedestal. Each tick of the clock brought him closer to a Horrible Thing.

Tony gasped as he woke up with sheets torn from the bed, pillows thrown on the floor, comforter hanging off by a corner.

He rubbed his eyes and wondered how he got to the point where he missed nightmares of the cave. He’d pay anything for those now.

The blessed alarm rang, setting him free. 

~~~~~

Tony sat uncomfortably at his desk. The Avengers had barely defeated AIM’s attack on Wall Street the day before. The armor had taken an unfortunate hit, causing pinching and electrical shocks in some tender spots. Clint, Wanda and Pietro had started celebrating the win before Thor had stopped hitting AIM agents and while Hank was still distracted by the weapons. Disappointed and uncharacteristically angry, Jan bellowed at people until SHIELD arrived to take the agents into custody.

If they had Cap, if only he had -- Tony bit the inside of his mouth. He couldn’t think like that. That way led to madness.

“Hi, Tony,” Pepper said brightly as she and Bambi arrived to talk about his plans and schedules for the week. 

Bambi opened her tablet as they sat down across from Tony. “You’re booked all day, so no nonsense today. Or tomorrow. Or all week -- I’ve had to reschedule people to July.”

Tony shrugged. “Guess that happens.” Bambi ran his work life with an iron hand and a logistical eye that Eisenhower would envy.

“You have an event Wednesday night -- the Foundation annual Humanities awards and grants. They want to know if you’ll be bringing someone,” Pepper said.

“Is Celia available?”

“I’ll find out.”

“Anything else?” Tony asked, steepling his fingers. 

Bambi took out a note tucked inside the tablet cover. “Nick Fury wants to meet with you ASAP. I told him no emergency appointment unless it’s a clear purpose, you’re expecting him, or he’s God. He’s annoyingly persistent.”

Damn Fury. “Avengers business -- he can talk to Jan.”

“I already said that and he laughed. Said he wanted to talk to the guy with the purse strings and everything to lose. Tony, I don’t like him.”

He knew it was about the AIM attack. Or the Zemo thing last week. Had to to be Zemo -- that hadn’t been the Avengers’ finest hour. “Set it up. Preferably in the morning between other meetings so I can escape.”

~~~~~

That night, Tony went home, tried to sleep for two hours, woke up and searched for everything he could about Steve Rogers, the one he’d seen in the coffee shop over a month ago.

He left a picture of a smiling Steve from Instagram up on his screen.

Tony had the money to get whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. That was the world he lived in. With one call, he could bring Steve to his apartment. Wouldn’t be hard to find the right bait.

He could see Steve with that Instagram smile standing there in the living room in his favorite leather jacket. “Gee, Mr. Stark, the view is swell.”

Wait, Steve had stopped saying swell two months in. Unless he was teasing Tony. And he lived to tease Tony.

Tony grabbed the keyboard and threw it on the floor. “No. No. No,” he repeated as he banged his forehead on the cool surface of the desk. 

~~~~~

“All I’m saying, Stark, is that your team needs help and I’m offering that help,” Fury said. He was so cavalier about pointing out the Avengers’ failures -- his attitude got under Tony’s skin.

“We’re doing fine,” Tony lied. 

“If that’s what we’re calling fine these days,” Fury replied. “Then, sure, your team is doing peachy-keen fine.”

Tony worked with Fury as Iron Man but rarely met the man as Tony Stark. He’d prefer to avoid Fury entirely in either guise. “Fine. Good. Excellent.”

“Don’t insult my intelligence or yours. You can’t be that blind.” Fury shifted in his seat.

Fury didn’t use this office very often, Tony guessed, being a connoisseur of offices. He had a surreal feeling that the accessories and furniture had been ordered just that morning out of an office catalog. 

Except for the photo in a beaten-up metal frame on the desk. There was a story there.

“I appreciate your concern, but Wasp is doing a fantastic job running the Avengers.”

“Look, we need the Avengers -- the team has a lot of promise and you were very persuasive getting the support. SHIELD has its specific missions and our work needs to be undercover for the most part. The Fantastic Four deal with specific intergalactic and interdimensional threats, and there’s a whole mess of street-level heroes taking care of criminals and supervillains. We need a team that handles world threats. Your team could be that team.”

Tony blinked in surprise. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were complimenting us.”

Fury leaned back in his chair, giving off the attitude that he had hooked and reeled in Tony. “No complimenting -- just laying out the real deal. A team to handle extraordinary threats that no one else can -- that’s what you sold the UN on. I’m offering training, consultants, joint mission planning -- the whole deal.” Fury tipped his head to the side. “Judging from that fight with Whirlwind two days ago, I don’t know if you could defeat Paste-Pot Pete.”

“He’s the Trapster now.”

“It’s cute that you call him that. You aren’t all that stupid, Tony. Think about my offer. Talk it over with your team. You know where to find me when you’re ready.” Fury sat up in his chair, fished out a file from the pile on his desk, and opened it to read. He barely glanced at Tony.

Conversation over, apparently. As Tony stood up, he accidentally knocked the photo off the desk. He picked it up and turned it over. It was a team photo of the Howling Commandos, bruised, battered and celebrating, along with Captain America. Somewhere in muddy WWII Europe. Even then, Steve shone in the faded black and white photo, not a bruise or speck of dirt on him, dazzling smile reaching across the years.

Tony’s heart clenched as he thought of the last time he’d seen that smile on a uniformed Steve. Cap and Iron Man were sitting on the bumper of a police car, as Steve told him about Clint’s arrow trick that took down the Trapster. Tony couldn’t stop laughing as Steve dryly described the carnage.

“Your grandfather? That guy there looks a lot like you, down to the eye patch,” Tony said as he set the photo back down on the desk. 

“Hah,” Fury barked. But didn’t give an explanation. 

Tony figured that he wasn’t the only one who had secrets.

~~~~~

Tony would always have that little part of him that thoroughly enjoyed watching the party start because he walked into the room. Celia was perfection on his arm, beautifully turned out and catching everyone‘s eyes. They swept through the hotel ballroom on their charm offensive and Tony felt completely at home talking up the mission of the Maria Stark Foundation and fielding the usual questions about the Avengers from a curious public.

Pepper motioned to him. As the designated VIP wrangler, she was stationed by the event planners for the Foundation and hotel. “You’ve been briefed on the schedule of events?” she asked, clipboard in hand. 

“Opening remarks, I introduce the Foundation board and give out one of the awards, then I pop up at the end of the evening to bid people a good night and ask for money.”

“A copy of your remarks will be on the podium.”

“Thanks for drafting them.”

Pepper checked her watch. “Don’t stray. Stick to the script.”

Dinner turned out to be fairly decent with a surprisingly tasty main chicken dish. Tony finished off his after-dinner coffee, ready for yet another one. Next to him, Celia was adding new contacts to her phone. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m meeting some friends at a club after this. You can come if you want,” she offered.

“I have to stay for pictures of award winners -- go ahead if you want to take off.”

“I’ll stick through the awards, but not the pictures,” she said with a big smile and toss of her platinum blonde hair. “You’re fantastic, Tony.”

Tony sipped his new cup of coffee, nerves feeling suddenly unsettled by hazy memories of another blond who gave that exact compliment. “I try,” he replied in a flat tone.

The rest of the night zipped by with the parade of grateful educators, students, artists and activists thanking the Foundation for the cash awards. An awkward cough and vaguely Brooklyn accent caught his attention.

Steve. Dressed in a stiff, dark suit and thanking the Foundation for a ten-thousand dollar genius grant, one of five given out each year. The highlight of the night, with a picture to be featured in every Foundation website and publication.

This time Tony couldn’t avoid him. As soon as the ceremony wrapped up, Pepper grabbed him for pictures. Tony had his Celia-and-nightclub escape route and his excuses and Pepper all set to cover for him graciously.

But the chance to get to talk to Steve again ...

He was unbelievably weak.

Celia waved good-night with an empathetic smile on her way out of the venue. Tony squared his shoulders. All he had to do was some glad-handing and small talk and take the photo. Just a quick chat to see if Steve was happy. As if Tony would be satisfied by a brief five-minute conversation.

Pepper made the introduction. “Tony, this is Steve Rogers, one of the recipients of the Foundation genius grants.”

“Mr. Stark,” Steve said, in that confident way of his, reaching out to shake Tony’s hand with a firm grip. 

“Steve. Steve Rogers. Glad to meet you.” And once Tony shook Steve’s hand and looked him right in the eyes, he was just as gone on Steve as he’d been when he’d first met him in the Avengers submarine.

“It’s an honor to meet you. You’re an inspiration --” Steve said. 

Tony let the compliments wash over him as he held himself back. Steve was gorgeous and smiling and he could swear Steve just made a pass at him.

“Excuse me?”

Steve gave him a shit-eating grin. “It’s a shame you’re all alone.”

Tony arched an eyebrow. “My date just left, she had places to go. Are you going to ask me to see your etchings?”

“Drawings, actually,” Steve replied. 

Everyone and everything else melted away from them into nonexistence. All that mattered was Steve. “Tell me more.”

A couple hours later they were pointedly ushered out of the ballroom by the event planners on behalf of the hotel. “Time to go home, Tony,” Pepper said. “It’s after one am.”

“Here’s my number,” Steve said. He took Tony’s phone and punched his number in. “Text me when you’re free for coffee?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

True to form, life continued to fuck Tony over as he walked out of the Foundation event with Steve’s phone number and a promise for a date.

~~~~~

“Since then, I’ve been working freelance,” Steve explained to Tony over coffee and a slice of pie. Of course it was apple pie, Tony couldn’t help but notice.

They were seated in a booth near the front of a busy famous diner. Tony might have chosen the place to show off for an impressed admirer. Tony’s hand shook a bit as he reached for his coffee. He’d been drinking far far too much lately and he’d caught Bambi substituting decaf in the office coffee machines. Steve didn’t seem to notice. 

Tony was grateful for the relative anonymity that New York City gave celebrities and that the Avengers weren’t needed at the moment. No one would bother either of them as they spent an hour or the rest of the night talking. As long as they kept ordering coffee and food. A few flakes swirled in the cold early December night sky while Tony basked in Steve’s sunny attention. 

“Keeps the lights on, huh?” Tony responded, clutching his coffee mug. 

Reaching for a sugar packet, Steve brushed Tony’s hand, without a cloud in his eyes or any of the reserve that Tony remembered so well. He wasn’t hiding his cards, and Tony hadn’t felt this wanted or desired in ages. 

“I manage -- teach a class here and there, sell prints, do some illustration work. I’m always busy, which is good.”

“I know what that’s like,” Tony replied.

“I’ve been doing better recently, enough to keep both the lights and the internet on.” Steve grinned. “I have a couple of roommates and we all help out.”

“I hear your recent exhibit at Empire State was worth seeing,” Tony replied. 

Steve shook his head. “It was a joint show of recent MFA grads. I had a couple of pieces, nothing more.” He poked at his apple pie. “I’m working on some pieces for another exhibit coming up at MoMA, um -- the Museum of Modern Art -- a Captain America Retrospective.” He tilted his head to the side, a slight frown on his face. “I’m playing around with an interpretation of Captain America in our time, what he’d be about, what he’d be doing.”

“He’d be an Avenger,” Tony said. 

“You think so? The Avengers are superheroes, Captain America not so much. I’ve been brushing up on modern American military history to get ideas.”

“Not World War II?” Tony said, a slight edge to his voice. 

“I’ve never been that interested in World War II,” Steve admitted. “Just didn’t grab me as much as recent history like the Gulf War. Vietnam is the earliest I go.”

Tony stared at Steve. 

This wasn’t his Steve. His Steve wasn’t at a diner keeping their coffee date going on as long as he could. A different Steve. Maybe a different Tony. This wasn’t real. 

Right, well, this is the way it was now. “So what’s the direction?”

“I like your idea -- if Captain America were alive today, would he be one of the Avengers?” Steve pursed his lips and tapped the table. “There’s a lot to work with there.” He smiled at Tony over his coffee cup. “What does the guy who’s in the papers all the time do for fun?”

Tony laughed. “I don’t get out of the workshop enough. I don’t even remember the last time I saw a movie in a theatre.”

“We could fix that.”

Tony’s phone buzzed. Checking the text, he said, “I have to go soon. Appointments all afternoon.”

“I’m glad you had time to meet me for coffee.”

“Hard to turn down a cute guy,” Tony admitted. “You made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“Maybe I should push my luck and ask about lunch.”

“I’ll see your lunch and raise you dinner.”

“Dinner?” Steve grinned at Tony. “I’ll take that bet. I should warn you though -- I’m not very good at poker.”

A memory immediately crossed his mind, and Tony’s shoulders fell. “I won’t ask you to play. As for dinner, I’ll need to check my schedule.”

The cheerful mood had fractured somehow and Tony couldn’t quite get the conversation back on track. They both fell silent and Steve turned to look for the waiter for the check. 

“Sorry, Steve. I’ve got a lot on my mind. Occupational hazard,” Tony apologized.

“You’re a busy man, with your company and the Avengers, all that.”

“It’s refreshing that you didn’t ask about them --”

“I think -- I’m here with the guy I met at a charity thing. Wanted to get to know that guy.”

Tony nodded tightly. He reached for the check but Steve grabbed it first. “My treat,” he said with a grin.

“This time,” Tony said decisively. “Next time -- it’s on me.”

“Good to know that there will be a next time.”


	3. Chapter 3

Leaning back in the quinjet jump seat, Tony could feel the bruises forming on his left arm under the armor. The rest of the team were quiet as well, nursing their own cuts, bruises and wounded pride. Clint sat sullenly next to Jan as she flew the quinjet back to the mansion. He and Pietro had laid into each other a few minutes ago about who was the one most to blame for letting Zemo and the Black Knight escape.

Zemo had attacked a chemical plant outside Chicago with his new buddy the Black Knight. The Avengers arrived, ran out to attack Zemo, and fell immediately into the trap that Zemo had laid for them. Jan and Tony had managed to elude the pit Thor fell into. Scarlet Witch had to claw off the sticky netting that had fallen on her. Quicksilver tripped, slammed into a wall and lay stunned on the floor. He recovered in time to team up with Hawkeye, who managed to get a bead on the Black Knight. Meanwhile, Zemo exploited the weakness in their lack of a coordinated attack and blipped away with whatever loot he’d taken from the plant.

Too much to hope that Zemo was on personal errand to find a chemical to remove the sock on his head.

And Ant-man had never bothered to show up, something about ants and the lab. They could have used him.

Thor said, “‘Tis not seemly for allies to be turn against each in defeat. It means that we shall not see rousing success in battle.”

Tony would settle for lukewarm success at this point. He felt bad for Jan, who was blaming herself for not doing enough mission planning.

“If we had a leader who understood battle —”

“Why not you?” Tony asked.

“You brag all the time,” Quicksilver said. “Asgard that, Vanaheim this.”

Thor gave him a dark, measured look. “I speak of a leader that can lead a team of different abilities. In Asgard, such men and women are highly prized —” He got up and moved to the back of the quinjet. 

Tony painfully closed his eyes, took a deep breath. The bruises ached and the sore skin caught on the metal of the suit. 

_“It’s not that bad, Iron Man,” Cap said. “We’ll track down Zemo and Black Knight. We’ll get ‘im next time.”_

_“Sure about that, Cap?” Tony replied._

_Sitting in the jump seat across from Tony, Steve pulled and tugged his gloves into place. Tall, thoughtful and filling the entire space of the quinjet, making even Thor seem smaller in comparison.The shield was propped up against his seat. Steve was always meticulous with his uniform.“Yes. I’ll need to study the fight. Zemo has his weaknesses — the Black Knight is the weak point in that partnership.”_

_The rest of the team were worked over, bruised and battered and exhausted, but Steve looked like he’d just sprung right out of bed after a full night’s sleep. His bruises — if he had any — were long healed over. “You should drink something, Iron Man.” He offered a bottle of water from his own collection in the seat next to him._

_Tony waved it off. “I’m good.”_

_Steve produced a straw from his belt and handed him the bottle._

_“Thanks,” Tony said. Steve always had a straw for Iron Man. “For the water and the straw.”_

_“Beats giving you a sippy cup,” Steve said with a laugh._

_“I’ll have you know that I’ve designed many cups suitable for drinking that aren’t sippy cups. Award-winning designs, Cap.”_

_Steve smiled fondly at him as he leaned back in his own seat. “We’ll review the fight in the team debrief. Get the information. Compare notes.” Steve’s nose twitched as he went over a dozen different scenarios in his mind. “We’ll get Zemo.”_

Tony blinked a couple of times and Steve disappeared between the blinks. He looked mournfully at the empty seat, as the rest of the Avengers’ bickering filled his ears.

Cap would have beaten Zemo. And he would have gotten the team behind him to do it.

~~~~~

At least Tony could console himself with his new and improved Steve.

His dinner date with Steve was perfection. Steve asked Tony if they could meet in Red Hook instead of Manhattan, and Tony was enthused to have dinner at one of Steve’s favorite places. Small, casual place with excellent burgers and a nice selection of beers on tap. The restaurant was filled with happy, talkative people out for a good time and the waitress called Steve “hon” when she took the order and delivered the food.

They lingered over the remains of dessert as Tony watched Steve nurse his beer, both of them reluctant to end the night. Steve was beautiful in the low light of the busy restaurant, a sleepy smile on his face.

Tony was telling him his latest ideas about improving satellite communication when Steve’s phone buzzed. 

Steve tapped the phone with ease. “Just one of my roommates.” He showed Tony the text.. “‘Assemble.’ Sam wants to get a group together to play Cards Against Humanity.” 

Tony’s blood ran cold. “Repeat that.”

“What, Cards Against Humanity --?”

“No. Assemble. Like Avengers Assemble.”

“Avengers Assemble.” Steve grinned at him.

Tony winced to hear Steve repeat the Avengers battle cry so dispassionately. Like it meant nothing. He couldn’t do this, he really couldn’t. He should thank Steve for all the fun and flee.

Steve reached for Tony’s hands. “Are you okay?”

Rattled to his core, Tony grabbed a glass of water and drank it down. “I’ll be fine.”

“It’s just a joke with my friends -- I didn’t mean any disrespect or --”

“It’s okay, Steve. The job -- it gets to you sometimes.”

“Let’s go for a walk -- shake it off,” Steve said, as he signaled for the check. 

~~~~~

He made another date with Steve.

A remarkably terrible decision in a lifetime of terrible decisions. 

He needed to stay away, stop poking at the mystery of new Steve. 

Tony sat naked on his bed, his legs folded up and his arms around his knees. He put his forehead down on his knees, his body shaking from pent-up emotions. Fear and worry flowing through his veins. 

His phone was within reach. All he had to do was text Steve and break it off. 

It was Steve, though. A Steve he’d dreamed about. What Steve might be like if he hadn’t been Captain America. Tony had wondered about that since his crush started. Maybe that Steve would fall for Tony.

Steve -- so quick to throw himself into the fight, leading the team against the latest supervillain. All the time and energy Steve put into training the team, and the passion and talent he had for mission tactics and planning. But then Tony had cataloged in his perfect memory all the blood, broken bones, and injuries Steve collected since they met.

Tony wanted to wrap him up in cotton wool and put him on the shelf, like a beloved and fragile stuffed toy. To save forever.

He never thought he’d see Steve ever again. But this Steve was only an echo, a ghost of the man that he had known. And everyone else had forgotten that man. Except Tony. 

Tony vowed once that all he ever wanted was for Steve to be alive somewhere in the world and he would be content. And somehow the universe made it happen.

Steve looked like Steve, walked like Steve, smiled like Steve. Even said “Avengers Assemble” like Steve. But it wasn’t His Steve. 

Not the man who trained daily with the shield. Or studied mission reports in that leather chair in the library. The man who was bigger than life.

His fingers tapped on the contacts list before he could stop himself. “Steve?”

“Tony,” Steve said, breaking Tony’s heart all over again. This Steve, with his successful art career and never seeing war and knowing more about dogs than HYDRA, shouldn’t sound this happy to hear from Tony. 

“Are we still on for the car show?”

“You bet. I can’t wait to go.”

“Steve --”

“Yeah, Tony?”

Tony was fundamentally incapable of saying no to any Steve he would ever meet. Especially this Steve, free of all the weight and sorrow of his past. 

“See you soon.”

~~~~~

Tony should have expected to run into Jan on the winter charity circuit sooner or later. Tonight it was an event for disadvantaged children and STEM education, another Maria Stark Foundation event. Tony was scrolling through his texts at his table during a down moment when Jan, regal in an evening dress of her own design, swept past him with Hank on her arm. 

“Tony?” she said delightedly.

“Jan,” he replied as he dropped the phone on the table. Nice to see Jan outside the Avengers. He’d known her since her debut on the socialite scene. Tony had long suspected that Hank was Ant-man, though Jan had a way of avoiding answering any of Tony’s leading questions on the issue.

Jan grabbed a chair and sat down. “I think you’ve already met my boyfriend, Hank -- he’s a research scientist working at the company.” Hank hesitated until Jan waved at him to sit down. “This is a nice surprise — I haven’t seen you around much lately.” 

“I have a busy social calendar.”

“Don’t we all?” Jan laughed. She then leaned towards Tony as if they were conspiring over something. “I hoped to meet your mysterious date.”

“Mystery date?”

“You haven’t been reading the gossip sites then.” She smirked. “Stories about the latest blond spotted on your arm. No pictures.”

Tony hadn’t gone public with Steve because Steve wasn’t a PR arrangement. The Stark PR machine had managed to keep pictures of Steve and Tony out of the press. He wasn’t sure he was ready to introduce Steve to Jan.

Except that Steve made that decision for him. Steve returned from the bar with drinks for them. He stood next to Tony, obviously curious about the new arrivals.

“Hello!” Jan said brightly.

“Jan, this is Steve Rogers, my new someone special. Steve, Janet Van Dyne, fellow socialite, and her boyfriend Hank Pym, an insect scientist.”

Jan gladly shook Steve’s hand and made room for him at the table. Tony studied both Jan and Hank, who betrayed no sign that they recognized Steve. Bewildered, he had no idea what he expected. Did he honestly think Jan would suddenly say ‘where have you been -- we’ve missed you!’ or Hank would crack a joke about Captain America? 

No, there was Steve listening to Hank talk about ants like they were the hottest thing on the planet. And Jan talking about a charity art auction coming up in the summer and asking if Steve would be interested in it.

Tony sipped his drink, fending off the edge of hysteria creeping in. Jan and Hank -- he’d long suspected Hank was Ant-man -- were chatting with Steve like they’d never met before. And actually, they hadn’t. But it was Steve. How could they forget Steve? 

Jan gathered up her things. “It’s been wonderful to meet you, Steve. I wonder how Tony met you considering how busy he is all the time.”

“You’d be even busier if you were on the Avengers, not just sponsoring them,” Hank said darkly to Tony. 

Jan shot Hank a look. “Let it go, Hank. Give me a call, Steve -- we’ll do lunch and I’ll tell you all about Tony. Oh, and talk about my art foundation.”

After they left Steve said to Tony, “Jan seems nice. Her boyfriend, um, likes ants a lot.”

Tony burst out into hysterical laughter until his sides hurt. “That’s an understatement.” Steve glanced worriedly at Tony. Tony waved his hands. “No, no, it’s a long story. How much longer do we have before we can go?”

“An hour or two.”

Tony gave it a half hour, gave excuses to Pepper, called for Happy and dragged Steve away from some board members to the limo. “They love you,” he groused at Steve.

“That’s a bad thing?”

“No, a strange thing. The Foundation Board never talks to my dates, and here you are, charming their socks off.”

“We make a good team.”

Tony wanted to scream, throw himself out of the limo, and flee the country. His world was spinning out of control, like he was losing his mind. He knew he made a good team with Steve, but not like this. Instead, he launched himself at Steve, kissing him and burying himself into Steve’s arms. Anything to drive the confusion out of his mind.

“Your place or mine?” Steve asked when they came up for air.

Tony didn’t want to think, didn’t want to stew over the thoughts in his mind, didn’t want to tear apart every moment of that surprise meeting with Jan and Hank. He didn’t want the nightmares, or the memories, or that terrible sinking feeling in his bones he always got around Steve. He kissed Steve again, grabbing for something he never thought he’d have.

“Is my place okay? We’re closer and my roommates are out for the night.”

“Are you that desperate to get into my pants, Captain Rogers?” Tony purred. 

“Captain?” Steve had a confused look on his face.

Tony kissed his cheek. “Sounded good for some reason. Captain of my heart, that sort of thing.” He leaned into Steve. “Why Park Slope? You want to pass up the fabulous penthouse?”

“I have a fun run in the morning, we’re raising money for a community garden. You’ve never seen my apartment.”

“Park Slope it is.”

Steve’s apartment was on the third floor, above a clothing store and dry cleaner. He told Tony he’d been there a couple of years with Sam. Bernie moved in a couple of months ago. They went straight to Steve’s room in the back of the apartment.

“Wait here, I have to move my easel. Give me a couple of minutes.” 

Tony followed Steve into the room. “I thought you were sharing studio space.”

Steve folded up his easel and leaned it against the wall. “I’m working on a piece here. It’s convenient.” He turned off the overhead light and turned on the lamp on the nightstand. 

Tony had a small window of escape while Steve folded up his easel that dominated the room. Steve nudged his bed more to the center of the room, to give Tony space to move. Tony was going to make it work with his new Steve. All the pieces were clicking into place. There had to be a reason he’d seen Steve in the coffee shop back in October. He was meant to be here, right now, at this moment basking in Steve’s smile and sensual admiration.

Oh, god, Steve wanted him. 

He knew that -- it was clear what they were talking about back in the limo. Tony wanted Steve in the abstract, but now that he was being offered all of Steve on a platter, he was suddenly getting cold feet. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, he could leave now and Steve wouldn’t blame him. A disappointment to be sure, but they were big boys, they could live with disappointment.

Steve leaned over and kissed Tony long, deep and slow, his fingers curled just right under Tony’s chin. Tony melted and gave in. Not that he put up a good fight against temptation at all.

Tony didn’t have to work hard to be present in the moment once he watched Steve shimmy out of his suit jacket. Desire flooded through him and Steve let him run his hands up and down his bare chest. Tony had always wanted this, wanted to touch and be touched. Steve was sweet and giving, coaxing Tony to touch him everywhere.

“What’s this?” Steve asked as he unbuttoned Tony’s shirt.

Right. The arc reactor. He should have thought, but he wanted to be with Steve so badly he’d forgotten. “Fancy pacemaker.”

“Is this okay? I wouldn’t want --”

“No,” Tony breathed between kisses. “I’m fine. This is fine.” He’d punched out at least a dozen HYDRA agents three days ago. He was in shape to have sex.

“Maybe nothing fancy tonight,” Steve agreed. He lowered Tony to the bed, undoing the belt, slipping off his shoes.

All Tony wanted was to be with Steve, feel Steve’s hands on him, breathe him in, be Steve’s completely and utterly. They pushed off the last of the clothes to the bare floor in Steve’s tiny room. Tony didn’t want to be anywhere but here, with Steve’s hands on his ass and Steve’s mouth pressing kisses into his jaw and shoulders. 

He lost himself in the rhythm of their bodies moving together, legs entwined, sweat-drenched skin touching. He let Steve draw pleasure out of his body, his clever fingers finding spots that made Tony moan and shudder. His mind was quiet, filled only with a desire to make Steve as happy as Steve made him. Steve reached between his legs, and Tony whited-out from coming, his head spinning as Steve kissed the tension out of him.

“You’re the best,” Tony whispered.

Steve held him tight and brushed a stray tear from Tony’s cheek. “You too.”

~~~~~

Steve had let Tony sleep in as far as Tony could tell. The bright morning light streamed through the slats of the blinds and slid across Tony’s face. Steve had to have a coffee maker in the kitchen. He threw on his boxers and one of Steve’s t-shirts (the one with the Property of Empire State University Studio Art Department art). He didn’t know if the roommates had returned home or not.

Sam, Tony guessed, was seated at the bar between the kitchen and the living room. He was dressed far more formally than Tony expected -- in a suit and tie. He had files all over the bar and a half-opened briefcase on the stool next to him. “Steve’s getting breakfast,” Sam explained before Tony touched the keurig machine. “He’ll be back any minute.”

“Um, thanks,” Tony replied. 

“You must be Tony,” Sam said. “Steve’s been talking about you nonstop for the past month.”

“Hopefully good stuff.”

Sam snorted at that. Tony had the odd feeling he’d meet the guy before, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. “He’s Steve. Never says a negative thing.”

Tony leaned against the spot Sam had cleared for him. Then startled at the squawk from the living room.

“Don’t pay attention to Redwing -- he’s an attention hog,” Sam said fondly. 

“That’s a falcon.”

“He’s trained.”

Redwing shifted back and forth on his perch in the metal cage that dominated one corner of the room. Steve’s work table and computer occupied the opposite side. Two small couches, a television on a television stand, and a beat-up wooden coffee table were wedged somehow into what was left of the room. Tony hadn’t noticed a single thing last night when they got to the apartment. He glanced back at Sam and tried to picture a mask over his face.

“You’re a social worker at a VA hospital -- Sam Wilson. You met at Empire State when Steve was getting his MFA.”

“Yeah, we liked the same food truck on campus. Don’t mind the mess -- it’s going to be a busy day and I wanted to get a jump on the work.”

“It’s Saturday,” Tony replied, puzzled.

“I work the weekends, downside to helping people in trouble. Trouble never ends.” Sam turned to face Tony, giving Tony an appraising look. 

“Gonna give me the shovel talk?”

“We’re both a little old for that. Plus we’re not soap opera characters. It’s nice that Steve is bringing you around -- Bernie and I were thinking he’d made you up.”

“I’m the figment of Steve’s imagination?”

Sam shrugged. “That’s one explanation. I know it’s New York and anything can happen, but it’s still a little unbelievable that my roommate would be dating the owner of Stark Industries.”

“I’m talking to a guy with a falcon in his living room.”

Sam’s mouth quirked up to one side while his expression hardened. “I rehab birds in my spare time.”

“Right.” Tony racked his brain thinking of the now exploding population of superheroes in New York. He hoped that he wasn’t right that Sam could be The Falcon. Seemed to be a little too on the nose.

Steve and a woman with a wild, curly brown hair burst through the front door. Steve waved a coffee cup at Tony. “Coffee and breakfast burritos for everyone.”

The woman laughed as she grabbed her bag. “This must be the famous Tony.”

“You are --”

“Bernie Rosenthal -- I live with these two idiots.”

“You’re the lawyer with the ACLU,” Tony guessed

“Sure am.” She shaped her unruly hair back into the semblance of a ponytail. “Did Steve also tell you that I sell art glass on Etsy?”

“It’s amazing work,” Steve said. “There have to be a few pieces around here.”

Tony felt remarkably unsettled around Steve and his friends. Were these people that Steve had known outside the Avengers before? He knew that Falcon was an unaffiliated superhero -- he didn’t think Steve had ever mentioned working with him. Bernie was clearly a civilian. Unless she had a flying dog from outer space hidden away in the apartment.

They joked and laughed with Steve like they had known him for ages. Fully formed, independent lives. Bernie was trying to finish her story about what they had seen on the way back from the coffee shop. And all Tony could think was that these people, important and necessary to Steve, existed. What were they when Steve was Captain America?

Bernie stood behind Steve and gave him a back rub. “Remember we’ve got that protest tomorrow. Do you have time to do signs?”

“Later,” Steve said. “I’ve got Tony here for the first time. I can get to them after my run.” He gave Tony that smile that was only for him.

“I’ve got yoga and work. Catch you guys later. Nice to meet you, Tony.”

In the few minutes he’d known Bernie, Tony assessed her as someone ready to pounce on Steve if Tony ever cut him loose.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony liked Steve’s roommates. They were interesting people, and he was going to keep an eye out on that Sam.

Working on the armor focused his thinking. As he welded seams, he thought about Steve. How much Tony knew about Steve’s life, outside of the Avengers. Now this “new” Steve had a full life not involving any of the Avengers. As for his Steve, “Captain America” Steve, Tony was on less certain ground.

As Tony remembered, he’d liked the long nights with Cap Steve in the library, working through puzzles, talking about the latest news or a new movie. Cap Steve loved science fiction and fantasy stories, had opinions on war movies, and was always, always interested in new things, the latest technology, whatever Tony was working on. Cap taught him how to spar, how to weave and duck, and how to land the perfect uppercut.

Tony could clearly remember the last time they had sparred. He’d taken the afternoon off, showed up at the training ring in his workout clothes, and had to hunt up Steve in another training room. He’d found Steve going through one of his extensive gymnastics routines, his pants slung low on his hips and wearing only chalk above the waistline.

Perfect grace in motion as Steve moved hand over hand through a routine on the parallel bars, flipping and holding as he went through a set of figures. Sleek and muscled, each movement disciplined and precise, a sheen of sweet glowed on his golden skin. As Steve came out of a flip, he held his position. 

“Sorry, Tony, I let the time get away from me. I’ll be right there.”

Hard to explain how natural Steve was about his physical abilities. Not showing off, just constant, steady hard work. The enhancements from the serum made it possible, but Steve built on that foundation by working out regularly every day. He needed the activity, he’d told Tony, saying he got itchy when he didn’t do something. 

New Steve worked hard, too -- he’d shown Tony his work and the studio space he shared with other artists. Carefully organized racks of paints, pencils and other supplies, the easel with the prepared canvas, the table with the palette, covered tray of watercolor paints, and the plastic cups marked ‘for paint.’

He liked science fiction and comics and talked about taking Tony with him when he went to Comic Con -- assuming that he didn’t have a job then. He worked out in the gym just as beautifully as Cap Steve. 

So alike, so different. 

But Tony remembered that last day sparring with Steve. Suited up in his uniform, Steve went over the footwork routines he’d been trying to drill into Tony’s head. “You’re not always going to have Iron Man around -- you need to defend yourself,” he explained.

Later Tony had pulled apart what Cap had said, analyzing and weighing each word to see if he had misheard the fondness in Steve’s tone. He pondered each smile and nod of the head -- did that he mean he liked Tony or that Tony actually landed a punch?

Tony wanted to retort that he had a suit of armor with weapons, that he’d never need to know how to fight. But Steve didn’t know that he was Iron Man.

“You’re doing good with the bag. Ready to try a few rounds with me?”

“Never ready, Cap. Let’s go.”

That time he had actually managed to land two punches on Steve. It was like hitting a marble statue with a bare hand. He stopped to shake off the sting. 

“See? You’ve improved since we started.”

“Don’t sign me up for MMA fighting just yet.” Tony held out his glove for Steve to adjust. 

Steve picked up the practice pads he wore while he was teaching Tony. He moved quickly and lightly on his feet, walking Tony through a sequence of moves to fend off an attack. “Let’s do that again.”

Half an hour later, Tony was sore all over while Steve was still as fresh as a new daisy. Tony felt the usual pang of jealousy that Steve hadn’t even worked up a sweat. “Free for an early dinner?” he asked as Steve unlaced his boxing gloves. 

“Hmm, I can free up my schedule, fit you in.”

Tony knew Steve’s favorite restaurants, that he liked to try different craft beers even if alcohol was like water for him, and that he’d share dessert if Tony asked. 

But Tony hadn’t known much about Steve’s life outside the mansion. Thinking hard, Steve had talked about working with Falcon a couple of times. And nothing could convince Tony that Sam Wilson wasn’t Falcon. Bernie was the wrinkle. Steve talked about the SHIELD agents he worked with, but Bernie was pure civilian from head to toe. 

Tony felt weird about New Steve developing a life, having friends and relationships that Cap Steve never had. New Steve had to have had a different life entirely from the start to now -- apartment, family, school, all completely different from Cap Steve -- to be alive now, the same age, but without the long ice nap. Not much in common, except for a friend or two and Tony. 

How did this happen, exactly? New Steve hadn’t existed a few months ago. But here he was with roommates that lived with him for at least a year, a dented coffee maker from three years ago, and a small oil painting of his mother done when he was fourteen.

A complete person with a complete life. Did some AI procedurally generate elements for Steve’s life? Roommates popping up when Tony needed to meet roommates. Did anything in Steve’s life exist until Steve needed it or Tony encountered it?

But how to explain Falcon? Tony knew that there was Falcon before and there was a Falcon now. 

He stopped his welding.

What other things had changed? He had a photographic memory, but memory was not the same as observation. Steve observed things -- his whole mind mapped out individual elements of a fight before the Avengers ever engaged in one. He had tried to explain to Iron Man what he observed in a fight and how he used it during a long quinjet trip home. But Steve was tired for once, and Tony was just figuring how nice Steve’s smile could be and sowing seeds for his crush.

So. Back to the beginning before Cap Steve disappeared. The founding members had left the team. Steve, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver and Hawkeye had formed a tight team while Tony was on reserve status. Thor came and went. But that was not the Avengers now. Now all the founders were active members on the same team with Cap’s new team. One team without Captain America.

Tony got and walked around the workshop as he worked out the problem. 

Lots of little, changed details -- it felt like the same world as before. The mansion was the same, of course, but missing Steve’s framed drawings of the team hanging in the foyer or the ever present pile of books next to his favorite chair in the library. And of course the biggest difference -- that Captain America had died at the end of World War II.

The team was a complete hodgepodge. They worked okay together. They got the bad guys, but the fights were brutal. They weren’t in sync with each other, and each win felt like it was barely snatched from the jaws of defeat.

Could an AI make that many changes? Make people even act different, assuming they weren’t also made up by the AI?

Damnit, what if Tony was stuck in an augmented reality machine that was messing with his mind? Wouldn’t be the first time that happened…. On the other hand, he could be living in a procedural generated video game.

He knew Cap had lived and breathed and punched out AIM agents. He’d sooner question whether gravity existed.

The question was how did this happen in the first place? Was it magic or science that caused it?

The real question was would it be better to have Cap Steve back? 

Right now in the current status quo, everyone else was happy -- Jan was happy. Tony had New Steve, who adored him. The team was struggling right now, but Jan was the right person to get them back on track. She would get it all together any day now. Why upset the apple cart?

But why it happened nagged at him, and he knew it had something to do with that glowy cube from his nightmares.

He sat down and leaned back in his chair. Magic or science? Science or magic? One of those had to be the answer.

~~~~~

After consulting the lawyers about the nearly collapsed Dane Whitman deal, Tony opened a new round of negotiations with Simon Williams for the acquisition of his company. Tony’s sixth sense was tingling the whole time. He doubted that Simon was on the up-and-up, although they hadn’t yet uncovered the connection with AIM that Dane told them about. The lawyers were busy discussing due diligence and accounting and audits, while Tony doodled in a corner of his notepad cubes and more cubes and made notes about glowing. Steve would have gotten the shading right, made the cube pop from the screen. 

As the lawyers filed out, Simon stayed behind to say goodbye to Tony. Tony waited for the question, expecting Simon to try the let’s-talk-about-this-over-lunch bit to get around the lawyers and make a direct appeal to Tony about the negotiations.

As Simon hesitated, he glanced at the tablet filled with Tony’s doodles. “Cosmic cube?” he blurted out.

Tony turned to face Simon. “What?”

“Oh, just something -- you know -- I’ve heard about -- that someone told me they were working on for someone. It was a party, it was loud,” Simon explained. 

Tony was intrigued. It was the first interesting thing Simon had said to him in months. “Cosmic cube -- what’s it supposed to do? It sounds like a kid’s toy.”

“Ha, it probably is. My brother knows a lot of odd people,” Simon said with a shrug.

~~~~~

Tony dropped by the Mansion as he did regularly, prepared to dispense new tech and pay the bills. Ask around if anyone had heard about cosmic cubes. Not that the team knew that he was Iron Man. He found Jan in the mansion library, buried in books. “Jan?”

She had dark circles under her eyes, hair mussed, dressed in her fifth best workout outfit with an empty coffee mug at her elbow. “Tony, nice to see you.”

He picked up a book from the pile on the desk. “Military strategy books, Jan? Tactics?”

“You have no idea what’s going on with the team. We’re just not gelling the way we should be when we’re fighting supervillains. It’s like herding cats out there. We’ve been lucky so far that we’ve had bigger muscle than our opponents, but we’re doomed if we lose Iron Man or Thor. If we run into someone who knows how to outthink us, we’re going to get our asses handed to us.” 

“Right.”

“Iron Man tries to keep us all focused, but...” she shrugged. “It’s not enough.” She gave a full-bodied sigh as she looked at her books. “I thought if I could learn some tactics … something I could use with the team, it’d be enough.”

“I’ll pay for training.”

“It’s not training. We need someone with the innate ability for this stuff. And not SHIELD-style help either.”

“Think about it, Jan.”

She gave a sharp, bitter laugh. “You have no idea. You could let us train more with Iron Man though.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

~~~~~

Steve was off on a short business trip. He’d be back in time for New Year’s Eve to celebrate the new year with his newly minted boyfriend. Happy to have Steve, Tony had spent the equivalent of a new Ferrari on a special evening for Steve and him. 

He hadn’t splurged like that before. Although, most of the cost was because it was so last minute. They didn’t have plans before Steve mentioned that he had to go to Los Angeles right after Christmas to meet a gallery owner and interview for a commission. 

“Don’t go,” Tony cajoled teasingly. “You can’t leave me. Who else am I going to fall asleep on when trying to watch a movie?”

“You’ll survive. It won’t be that long.”

Steve had initially resisted Tony’s offer of dispatching Happy to drive Steve to the airport. He definitively rejected the private airplane. The minute the car tail lights disappeared around the corner, Tony called Pepper to task her with finding some New Year’s Eve experiences for him. 

Of course, Pepper had come up aces. He was rather excited for the dinner and the music and the light show she had arranged for.

As they sat down for dinner, Tony worried a touch about Steve. Cap Steve would have fussed over the exorbitant cost. New Steve smiled for him, looking stunning in a blue silk shirt open at the neck. “Thanks, Tony. This is wonderful.”

They toasted to the new year with all that wonderful, sparkly feeling of a new relationship.

The next afternoon, Steve was sketching in the living room next to the windows. He was wearing one of Tony’s shirts, with two half-empty coffee cups on the floor and a small collection of wadded-up paper.

“I thought you were in the workshop,” Steve said.

Tony kissed him, running his fingers through his hair. Steve deepened the kiss. “I missed you on your trip,” Tony explained.

“I’ve been back two days and you keep saying that. I wasn’t gone that long.”

Tony put his forehead on Steve’s. A perfect moment. “What would it take to get you into bed?”

“I don’t know -- what are you offering?”

“Kisses.”

“That sounds good.”

He enjoyed spending time with New Steve, lazing in bed, going out to dinner, all the moments they had together. Oddly enough, his time with Steve was hardly ever interrupted by an Avengers call. 

They were there in his living room, watching movies and curled up in each other. The absolute perfect time for that call, to hear Jan or Hawkeye or Thor call the team in. Spend the rest of New Year’s day fighting AIM or Zemo or some new villain. Crawl back to bed in the morning to Steve and coffee. 

He nearly snapped out of sleep thinking that. That was not like Steve -- waiting back home worried and fretting over his boyfriend.

Steve was always miserable to everyone within the sound of his voice when he was injured and there was a call to action. He’d demand to go, even in a cast and hooked up to an IV. Even if Jan and the doctors grounded him, he’d hang on the comms, wanting to hear any shred of news. It didn’t help that Steve had a healing factor -- Tony remembered the sickening sound of broken bones and all Steve did was tie the bandages tighter and dig in more. His leg healed in a matter of days.

Tony ran his fingers through Steve’s soft hair. Steve looked up at him, a slight smile on his face. “Good movie,” he murmured and turned back to the screen. Tony liked his head on his shoulder, the warmth of his body against his. 

It was not Steve though, really. Not the real Steve.

He knew Steve well enough now to tell the differences between New Steve and Cap Steve.

New Steve was charming and interesting, but like other handsome, charming and interesting men. Tony had known dozens of those men. What made this Steve stand out was his art.

But Cap Steve -- there was no one on the earth or in the universe like Cap Steve.

Tony wished he could explain what it was like to know his Steve Rogers. He had been the most real thing you’d ever meet. 

Measure yourself against him and you rose to the challenge or failed, and you’d know exactly where you stood afterwards. Rip away your illusions, your misunderstandings -- you’d put it all on the line when he asked because that’s just the way it was. You couldn’t bullshit Steve in training or in the field. He knew what you did, what you could have done, and all your potential and how you weighed against those metrics.

God, Tony missed that. That solidness that stemmed from an unbelievable and unshakable strength. Strength of purpose, of will, and principle.

Problem was -- he wasn’t the only one who needed Steve. The real Steve.

Maybe he should break it off now with his New Steve. Let Steve go. Steve should be happy. He deserved all the happiness in the world. He should get on with his life. Date his friend Bernie. Play fantasy baseball with Sam. Tony could handle the misery -- he’d been made for sacrifice and he was willing to sacrifice everything for Steve.

The Steve leaning on his shoulder stirred. “I’m going to fall asleep if we stay here.” He stood up and held out a hand to help Tony stand up.

Tony’s mind filled with memories of his other Steve and all he could think about was how much he’d wanted his original Steve to look at him with that adoration and love. And all his resolutions and thoughts dissolved into the air.

“Lead on, I’ll follow,” Tony replied, wincing as he said it.


	5. Chapter 5

“January sucks,” Jan announced, with a twinge of disgust in her voice.

Tony had taken her out for lunch instead of meeting in the mansion about the Avengers. Jan had suggested a new gastropub out in Tribeca. She was going to be in the area anyway that morning and Tony was between meetings. 

City snow filled the sidewalks -- slushy and dirty and filled with ice chunks on the edge of the road. The weather service predicted heavy cold rain for the weekend that might turn into snow if the front off the coast moved. Steve would be spending the weekend at his apartment and Tony longed for the inevitable sleeping in later curled up with Steve. He was going to offer Steve space in the closet and was going to clean out a drawer in the bathroom. Maybe get a second key made.

He sipped his coffee laced with cinnamon. Jan had talked him into it and he hadn’t managed to understand the appeal as yet.

“I shouldn’t be eating this much bread,” Jan said. “It’s warm, tasty, and I wonder what they put in this butter.”

“Lunch should be here soon.”

“Isn’t going to stop me. The bread is that good.” Jan shifted in her seat, nearly toppling the pile of bags next to her in the booth.

“If you don’t like the weather, you and Hank could take off for Aruba or someplace like that.” Tony wondered if he could wrangle the time to take Steve somewhere warm, sandy and very secluded.

Jan shook her head tightly and gave a full body sigh. “I can’t -- Avengers are taking up all of my time. This is literally the first day off I’ve had in months. And I only justified it to myself by saying I had a business lunch. Sheesh.”

“That bad?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s talk about this amazing store I found this morning.” 

They jumped from talking about the store to some handblown glass vases Jan bought from Etsy to whatever Tony was wearing. “You’re were in the gossip columns again,” she teased. “You and your blond boy toy.”

“You’ve met Steve so you know he is not a blond boy toy. And I’m a permanent fixture in gossip columns.”

“You’ve haven’t made it unless you’re the blind item or several blind items.” Jan picked the fries off Tony’s plate. “And if you keep being all domestic like that, you’ll get dull and boring and the gossip sites won’t even cover you.”

“My PR people will get me on the cover of People Magazine --”

“Oooh, for your wedding photos.” Jan smiled brightly as she tucked her hair into place. “No -- wait.” she laughed. “It’s going to be you, your husband, your baby and the rescue dog you saved from a desperate situation. On the front lawn of your new house in the Hamptons.”

“I already have a house in the Hamptons.”

Jan stuck her tongue out at him. “Fine -- your newly renovated house in the Hamptons then.”

“Architectural Digest for the house, of course.”

“And still not covered by the gossip pages unless your PR people bribe people to post blind items about that cute little condo in San Francisco you bought your husband for your tenth wedding anniversary.”

“We’ve only been dating a few months now.” Tony snagged the last of his fries before Jan could finish them off. “I guess we should talk about Avengers. Take care of a little business.”

“Nothing new. It’s been slow. Hawkeye is antsy, but he’s always antsy. I’ve been talking to SHIELD about training and maybe doing some joint missions.”

“Joint missions? -- I thought we’d agreed to keep SHIELD at arm’s length.”

Jan huffed and drank her seltzer water. “Fury keeps suggesting that we join forces.”

“You mean work for Fury. It starts as ‘let’s do a joint mission’ here, or ‘let us take the lead’ there. Next thing you know, it’s Fury’s team, not ours, and we’re fighting battles on behalf of SHIELD.”

“Tony, you don’t understand -- you’re not there all the time. The SHIELD people have it together -- they have plans, they know what their roles are, they train. I’ve had to do that exact thing for the Avengers for months. They are already doing that. Why not take advantage?”

“We’re not SHIELD.”

“If we don’t get it together, we’re going to be taken over by SHIELD anyway. You should come see us train and then you’ll get what I’m talking about.” Jan settled back into her seat. “I’m not tearing the team down -- we’re doing good stuff. I just have this feeling that we could be great.” Her shoulders slumped. “I’m just not the one who’s going to get us there.”

Tony did come to observe the team’s next training session. He saw her point, it was a collection of disparate individuals and not a united team with a shared focus on the mission. “It will work out, the team needs more time to gel,” he told her.

Jan narrowed her eyes and then her phone rang. She glanced down and tapped the phone off. 

“Who was that?” Tony asked.

“If you must know -- and I know what you’re doing, Tony -- that was Hank’s real estate agent.”

“You’re leaving the mansion.”

“I’m going to level with you -- I know that you know that Hank’s Ant-man. Hank’s talking about leaving -- he’d like to be closer to Empire State and isn’t convinced about sticking it out with the team. He wants me to buy this apartment around the corner and, since he isn’t ‘private terrace, two-bedroom apartment in a pre-war-building in Tribeca’ wealthy, his plans hinge on me.”

“Oh,” Tony said. He’d thought once about leaving, so he couldn’t blame Hank. But not now, when everything was so fragile.

“Hank says that the team is wearing me out and that I should take a break. He’s not wrong -- I haven’t paid attention to my fashion in any meaningful way in months.”

“You can’t leave,” Tony blurted out.

“I don’t want to -- for now. But I can’t keep doing this.”

Tony wrung his hands in the napkin on his lap. He didn’t want to do it. But this was Jan. “I’ll talk to Fury. Try to negotiate something.”

After lunch, as he waited for Happy to pick him up, Tony felt that tug again about finding Cap Steve. He -- they -- needed Cap back.

Back to the search for a mysterious cosmic cube.

~~~~~

Tony decided he couldn’t go wrong starting with a teammate.

Scarlet Witch was sitting in the living room, reading on a tablet. She was dressed in yoga clothes, looking a lot less formal than her regular outfit. Tony Stark didn’t know that she was Wanda. Iron Man knew, because the Avengers in the mansion were not hiding their secret identity from each other as a matter of convenience. This was going to be awkward. 

“Scarlet Witch?”

Even in workout clothes, Wanda was elegant. She closed her tablet and carefully set it down on the couch. “Mr. Stark,” she said with a smile.

Tony pulled over a chair and sat down. “It’s Tony.”

Wanda inclined her head towards him. “Hello, Tony. Please call me Wanda.”

“Okay, Wanda.” He had a vague idea how her powers worked. “Would you be able to tell if reality had been changed or altered?”

“Hmm, that is a challenging question.” Wanda pursed her lips and tapped her manicured fingers on her knee. “I haven’t sensed any change. Not that I was looking for a change or alteration.”

“Oh. Hmm. On the off chance -- do you remember that the Avengers had another member?”

“You seem rather agitated, Tony. Is there something the matter?”

“I’m fine, nothing wrong. Do you remember?”

She shook her head. “No, nothing seems different -- I don’t remember another member, unless you were thinking of the Hulk.”

“Not the Hulk. Thanks.”

Tony went upstairs to where the bedroom suites and bedrooms were. He could tell where Jan, Wanda, Pietro and Clint’s bedrooms were. But where the door to Cap’s suite had been there was nothing, just a bare expanse of wall. He looked around the floor and back to the new wall. It all looked perfectly normal, like the floor had been designed that way.

He puzzled over that. He knew where Steve’s room should be -- right there, the door that opened into a large room with ensuite bathroom and sitting area surrounded by windows. The best room in the house for Cap, who deserved all good things. 

When he was back at home or in the office, he could pull up the architectural plans for the mansion and figure out the mystery.

He had another teammate to talk to first though.

~~~~~

“Mr. Stark -- what brings you here?” Don Blake said.

Tony was all business and didn’t have time for small talk. “I’m here to talk to the other guy.”

Blake sighed and reached for his ever-present cane. He tapped the cane once and in a flash he turned into Thor. “Friend Stark, it is good to see you.”

“Thor.” Tony tried not to think too much about Thor’s alternate identity because the whole thing tended to make his head hurt. “What do you remember about a fight we had with AIM back in October?”

“Hmmmm.” Thor stroked his chin, the office chair groaning under his weight. Tony stopped himself from offering to build a better, sturdier chair. But Thor/Blake probably had his reasons for insufficient office furniture. “We defeated the men in yellow and handed them over to SHIELD.”

“Anything else?”

“I took down more than my share of enemies. I would have defeated more if Quicksilver had not tripped and needed rescuing. You had gone ahead to the laboratories. I cannot think of more. But your question implies something more.”

Tony leaned forward slightly, rubbing his hands down his thighs. “That’s how it happened for you -- you don’t remember Cap? That Steve and I went on ahead of the team?”

Thor shook his head slowly. “Steve? Cap?”

“Captain America. Steve Rogers. The guy who tells us what to do when we fight.”

“I would remember someone like that as we sorely need leadership on the field. I have tried to show our new teammates -- and yet they remain ignorant of the basics.”

“Wasp has filled me in.”

“Hmmm, yes.” Thor leaned back, stroking his chin. “As for this comrade of yours that you insist I must know. Did we not recover Captain America from the sea and return him to your people for a heroic burial?”

“We found him alive.” Thor shot him a doubtful look that Tony ignored. “Back to that fight. Steve and I found a glowy cube in the lab wreckage -- a project that the AIM guys were working on -- a ‘cosmic cube’. Steve touched it and now no one remembers him. But me -- I do.”

“I have traveled the length and breadth of Asgard and the seven realms and have seen many wondrous and strange things, friend Stark. But I have never heard of this cosmic cube until you said those words right now.”

“Right.”

“What I can tell from your story is that some power has erased your friend. Or is making you think that you have lost a friend who never was.”

“Yes.”

“But you do not think that this power was magic in nature. Else you would have consulted Dr. Strange before you came to me.”

Tony nodded. He was putting off consulting Strange until he absolutely had too. The solution had to be anything but magic.

“I will consult mine own sources in case I have overlooked something.” Thor steepled his fingers. “If you had not described the cube, I might have thought you had encountered an infinity gem -- the Reality Gem.”

“Infinity gem?”

“Naught to worry about.” Thor said with a wave of his fingers. “Yet I remain troubled by your conviction that this Steve exists. I have known you long enough to know that this matter is of utmost importance to you. Is this Steve a close friend?”

“You could say that.” Tony dropped his eyes to the floor, avoiding looking at Thor. 

Thor gave him a long, considering look. “Hmm. What next?”

Tony drew a deep breath. “I need to go see Reed Richards or Dr. Strange.”

“Ah.” Thor gave him a commiserating look. “I wish you luck.”

~~~~~

Tony’s nightmares took a decided turn for the worse. His dreams were full of Captain America and of artist Steve, and he couldn’t tell the difference between them.

One dream stood out from the rest:

Artist Steve stood in the Mansion as the Masters of Evil attacked the team. Steve held up the shield. “What do I do with this?” he asked Tony. The rest of the team zipped around them fighting to push back Zemo and his crew. “What’s going on?” Steve cried. He looked lost and confused. 

“Do what you always do, Friend Steve! Stand in the thick of the fight against our enemies. Sound the battle cry,” Thor said, thumping Artist Steve on the back.

“Tony, help me,” Steve pleaded, Artist Steve’s face blending with Captain America Steve’s. “Help me.”

Then came an even worse dream:

Tony was sitting on his bed in the penthouse.

“I don’t mind a little role play,” Steve said as he comes out of the bathroom. “But this? This doesn’t exactly feel like something you picked up at Party City.”

Steve was wearing a Captain America uniform. The molded fabric fit and skimmed his body perfectly. As it should. Tony made it especially for him and this moment, all from the specifications tucked away in his memory.

Tony stood up and walked over to run his fingers under one of the hidden seams along Steve’s torso. “You look perfect in that, baby. Now pretend to rescue me from a burning building.”

“I’m not a superhero,” Steve told him. “I don’t do those things.”

Tony ran his hands over the scales of the mail in the uniform. Each scale clicking against the other scales. He’d always wanted to do that when Steve wore the uniform.

“It’s just roleplay, Steve. Now imagine --”

“Do you think maybe it’s disrespectful? Captain America was a national hero, after all.”

Tony smiled up at him. “People do this all over the world --”

Steve stripped off the gloves and turned to head back to the bathroom. “No. It’s not right. This is sick.”

And finally. The worst nightmare of them all:

They’re on a mission. The room was dark and Steve kept watch at the door. A laser blast ripped through Steve, and Tony was barely able to catch him in time. He cradled Steve in his arms as he lay bleeding and dying. He begged the universe for Steve’s life.

Tony shuddered awake from that dream, to feel Steve’s solid body next to his. Propping himself up, he watched Steve sleep, his breath smooth and even. He calmed down, his heart slowing down to a normal rhythm, lulled by the normalcy of the scene.

He was tempted to run a hand through Steve’s soft hair, twirling the locks between his fingers. God, Steve had no lines on his face and looked like he’d been born yesterday. This Steve had never killed in war or been frozen in ice or led the Avengers in a fight. Perfect and golden, recipient of the medical care and scholarships and privileges he’d never had in his other life. 

If Tony could ever bring himself to break up with Steve, he could predict the course of Steve’s life down to his retirement to Florida. Steve would get over Tony easily enough, drift back to Bernie and fall in love, get married, and have kids and the art career he’d always wanted. But Tony couldn’t. He couldn’t let Steve go.

Even if this was not his Steve. This Steve had no fight in him. No fight at all, like someone had cut it all out of him with sharp scissors.

Steve’s stubbornness over sorting whites from colors for laundry was not nearly as intoxicating as his standing his ground against HYDRA and refusing to retreat.

Damnit, Tony even missed arguing with Steve. 

Tony missed that fire, the anger, the passion, the conviction. He’d give anything to hear Steve’s battle cry again, the one that came from the depths of his soul, inspiring each and every one of them.

He could so easily crush this Steve, ruin his life with a few well-placed comments, destroy his art career beyond repair. Tony had never held such power over Steve before. Never. Steve had always been an equal. 

Complete and utter control of Steve. 

Tony loathed everything he’d become.

“Tony?” Steve asked, his voice slurred with sleep. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine -- go back to sleep.”

By now Steve was awake. “You don’t look okay.” He pulled Tony into his arms, tucking him right against his body.

At this moment Tony could forget that this was not the Steve of his memories, the man whose bedrock strength had supported him in an amorphous other life, this was still a Steve, who was his for the moment.

He can’t lose any bit of Steve. He can’t. He held Steve as tightly as he could.

“I’m fine now. Just a nightmare.”


	6. Chapter 6

Tony had put off his visit to Dr. Strange as long as he could. He had no patience for magic on his best days. Thor moved between magic and science all the time, but Tony had strong doubts about magic. But, feeling desperate and fueled by an ocean of caffeine and a couple of days of no sleep, Tony found himself in front of 117A Bleecker Street. 

Another reason to miss his Steve. Steve agreed with him about magic. Although he hadn’t asked the current Steve. He might agree too. Tony had a sixth sense about that.

Wong brought him into a room overstuffed with wood bookcases, antique carpets, books, more books, another pile of books, and leather armchairs. “Iron Man,” Dr. Strange greeted him.

Tony had opted to go in the armor on his visit. He’d only ever interacted with Strange as part of the team. Sitting down, he wished that he’d sent Scarlet Witch instead. Or Hawkeye -- that would have gone over well.

“Would you like a drink?” Strange asked. 

“A lime seltzer would be good,” Tony asked.

Strange waved his hand and seltzer in a glass with a straw appeared on the side table at Tony’s elbow. “You said that you had an inquiry for me?”

Tony sipped his drink. “Thank you. Yes.” He had a story already prepared and set out, but Strange’s steady inquisitive look unnerved him.

“Okay, the Avengers had a teammate -- but no one remembers him but me. It’s like he never existed. I have all these memories of him.” Tony paused. “When I’m in the Mansion, I can see where he left his book, or where his room was. No one else -- the whole world -- doesn’t know he was an Avenger.” He drank the seltzer down. “I met his analog who is the right age, has the same face, same name even. Same friends, I think. Almost like an exact copy but not a copy.” He put the empty glass on the table. 

“And?”

“Reality’s been messed with -- something changed -- dimensions shifted or something. He was lost and was spit out different.”

“How can I help?

“I’d like to know what happened.” Tony looked around the room, at the wood blinds on the windows, the framed picture of a mountain, at the woven carpet under his feet. “Get him back.”

“Have you talked with Scarlet Witch about this?”

Tony shook his head. “She’s like the rest -- doesn’t remember the guy. I’ve asked. She thinks my questions are odd.”

“Maybe she has picked up that you are not being completely honest about what happened or what you are looking for.” Strange lifted an eyebrow.

Ignoring the prompt, Tony asked, “Could you tell me if you could sense a change in reality or whatever?”

“It would help if you took this more seriously.”

Strange made more controlled hand wavy motions and a few books floated off the bookshelves and neatly stacked up on the table in front of him. He flickered his fingers and a book came to him. He chanted a few words, then went onto the next book until he went through the pile. He snapped his fingers and the books flew back to the shelves. 

“I can sense no change in reality, no rifts, nothing missing. No spells. All is as it should be.”

Tony bit his tongue before he could say ‘are you sure?’

“But again, I can only work with what you tell me, Iron Man. If I had more information such as the name of your friend or the circumstances of his disappearance --”

“Could there be anything that alters reality? Thor mentioned an infinity gem.”

“I would need to do research on the subject.” Strange steepled his fingers and tipped his head to the side. “I have heard of an item called the cosmic cube that possesses unusual powers.”

Tony perked up. Information he could use. “Yeah, I’ve heard of it too.”

“What do you know?”

“Not much more than a name.” Tony pursed his lips behind the mask. “It glows. It’s a cube. No one knows anything. Fury told me I was crazy when I asked him about it.”

“Fury relies much on the tangible world. Hmmmm. I would need to research this more. I will have to get back to you.”

Tony sighed heavily. A brief hope dashed to the ground. “Whatever you find, that would be great.”

Strange wrote down a few notes. “Anything else you’d like to mention?”

Tony stood up, still pondering the cosmic cube angle. It would have been helpful to get an Avengers call at that very moment. The openly doubtful look on Strange’s face irked him. “Thank you for the help.”

“You should talk to Reed Richards if you suspect a more mundane answer. Give my regards to your employer, Tony Stark.”

“Will do.”

~~~~~

Wasp called for help after she had an entanglement with Whirlwind at the Whitehall Ferry Terminal. Tony followed Thor and Quicksilver to the pier. This was overkill for Whirlwind. Wasp could easily have handled him herself. 

She probably regretted calling for help after Quicksilver ran face-first into Mjolnir and was knocked unconscious. Thor was appropriately concerned. But that meant that Iron Man and Wasp were left alone for Whirlwind wrangling. 

Damnit, the guy moved a little too fast for a minor league supervillain. Tony did not have time to spend all afternoon tracking him down all over New York. He got the unibeam ready. Then he noticed Whirlwind attempting to stow a backpack in a hidden corner of the terminal. 

“Stop,” Tony ordered. 

Whirlwind hissed at him and surged forward. This was ridiculously easy as Tony repulsored him down. Tony radioed the police. A mere formality -- they were likely on site by now.

Tony retrieved the backpack, which promptly fell open, spilling the contents on the ground. “I’m guessing this isn’t your homework.”

Whirlwind kicked at Tony and missed, as he struggled with the zip-ties. 

Dry chemicals of some sort, Tony assessed as he held the small baggies found in the backpack up to the light. The bags were unlabeled. 

“What are these? Who were you selling these to?” Tony asked. “Where did they come from?”

Whirlwind struggled a few minutes and stilled. “AIM. I’ve been working with AIM on a top-secret project.”

“Don’t think that criminal organizations had top secret clearances -- that’s usually a government thing. Anything else I should know about these?”

“I don’t know what AIM did with them, don’t care.”

“Are you sure?”

“All I know is that those bags were nearly impossible to get. Someone from AIM called me, said that they’d pay me to meet some guy somewhere to pick up a package.”

“Right.” Tony had significant doubts that Whirlwind was telling the truth. 

Tony scanned and took pictures of the chemicals as he handed them over to the local police. He’d learned a lifetime’s worth from his days as a weapons manufacturer and knew where to look on the dark web to figure out what the chemicals could be used for.

What he wasn’t expecting get back from his searches were several postings from an AIM shell corporation advertising for these exact chemicals. Tony would have understood one or two postings, but there were several over a short period of time. It was unusual.

AIM appeared to have had a hard time locating the amount of material that they needed. Tony dug into the message boards, tracking down leads, chasing dead ends for hours.

Out of frustration, he typed the list of chemicals into the Stark search engine. The computer spit back dozens of responses. Tony scanned the list and removed all the common possibilities. Until he hit an obscure website that mentioned that these chemicals were used in creating portals for unknown objects called cosmic cubes. Oh, that was interesting.

AIM, blackmarket chemicals, cosmic cube. A worrying equation.

The site was ancient and, as far as Tony could tell, founded on conspiracies and far-fetched theories. Cosmic cubes were par for the course, even thought they sounded so unreal even the paranoid, conspiracy-minded blogger himself doubted that they existed. 

But Tony knew AIM -- they weren’t going to waste their time on unprofitable crazy science. They only cared about crazy science that turned a profit. So there had to be something there.

He closed it all down and went to bed. He had some calls to make in the morning.

~~~~~

“Bad time to visit the mansion,” Hawkeye said to Iron Man. He was leaning against the wall, running one finger along the edge of an arrowhead.

Jan had scheduled a number of training sessions. Tony hadn’t been able to make the last three sessions because of schedule conflicts. Jan had actually called Tony at work and yelled at him for hogging all of Iron Man’s time. He’d never been on the receiving end of a Janet Van Dyne rant and he didn’t want to experience it again any time soon.

“I need to get out -- I’m stuck here all the time. All the time, Iron Man,” Hawkeye complained. He twirled an arrow between his fingers.

“What’s going on?” Iron Man replied. They were waiting for Jan to arrive.

“Jan and Hank,” Hawkeye explained as if that explained everything. “I actually want to fight Kang or a new villain just to get out of this place.”

They couldn’t start the training without Jan. Tony checked his email and phone messages through the HUD while they waited. Clint tried to nap, although Tony didn’t quite see how was he going to do that in the training room.

Jan flew in, trailed by Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. “Okay, guys, let’s get this show on the road. We’re going to work on coordinating attacks with Quicksilver.”

“Where’s Ant-man?” Hawkeye asked, even though they all had the answer.

She ignored the question. “You’re up first, Hawkeye.”

~~~

Steve had talked Tony into helping with his charity. He’d gotten involved with an organization that taught people to do art therapy for children. Steve himself volunteered in hospitals once or twice a month to do art therapy.

The fundraiser was held at a pizza place not far from Steve’s apartment. For once it was nice to not be the center of attention during a charity event. He noted that some people identified him, but the whole event was so low key that he could easily blend into the crowd.

But it was Steve’s charity and he had introduced Tony to a dozen different people as Steve’s boyfriend. Steve’s plus one. Steve’s companion. Steve’s Tony. All possible ways to be introduced and all of them were ways to describe their relationship. It made Tony feel warm all over.

Tony’s boyfriend. Tony’s plus one. Tony’s Steve.

Worked just as nicely the other way. 

He sat back in his chair to watch Steve work the room. He thought back to Jan’s joke about his and Steve’s picture on the cover of People. 

It was the end of January and Tony already had made Steve a key for the Hamptons house for when they’d go there during the summer.

First the Hamptons, then the serious questions from Pepper and Rhodey about when Tony was going to get married.

Steve was a perfect match for him. He was gorgeous, well-spoken, intelligent. The right sort of trophy husband for Tony.

By next Christmas he’d be engaged, then a year and a half to plan the extraordinary event, a celebrity spring wedding. Steve would be great on the board of trustees for the Maria Stark Foundation, he’d probably pick up more charities the longer he served. Like an art museum. Tony would go to all the events and smile when people praised his husband’s charity work to him.

They’d adopt -- Tony liked the idea of adoption -- at least two kids. They would look for a townhome, make their way into the right schools, and take family vacations in Europe and across the United States. Hell, Tony had a great place in California. He could imagine spending nights in the lab and the day with Steve and their family. They’d be the celebrity power couple, pictures at all the events, invites to everything under the sun, thousands of Twitter and Instagram followers. They would grow old together, traveling to visit their kids and grandkids, retiring from work, and sitting together at the end of the day holding hands and reminiscing.

His Steve said in his ear, _“Where’s the rock climbing? When did we defeat HYDRA?”_

His Steve would never retire early. He would go out with his boots on and shield at the ready. Tony couldn’t imagine any other way for Steve to go. 

Why would Tony ever think that he would retire quietly?

He looked at his boyfriend smiling at a donor.

That was not his Steve. 

It was not him. 

Tony wanted to flee. Far away, so far away that no one had ever heard of Tony Stark and he could die in obscurity. 

Tony could see the attention that New Steve was getting -- appreciative looks from women and men. Vultures circling in the sky ready to pounce if Tony took the wrong step in the wrong direction. Anyone would want Steve. They’d call him crazy if he let Steve go.

He felt like drowning in the deep, rolling waves of guilt around him.

He was holding onto New Steve out of pure selfishness, to preserve the memory of a man lost to him. He was buoyed by Steve’s adoration and loving smiles. 

He’d been in love with Steve forever. He didn’t know when it had started -- was it when they had pulled him out of the ocean and Tony looked into those blue eyes for the first? Was it that time they’d spent an hour throwing the shield at objects to see what happened when the shield hit? Or when Tony realized how lonely Steve was and sat down to talk Steve into a game of chess?

Now he had a Steve who loved him back, adored him.

He didn’t know if Cap Steve loved him back or ever would have. But he wanted original Steve, more than ever, now that he had a sense of what he had lost.

Was it enough to know that a Steve was happy somewhere in the world, even if Tony couldn’t see or be with him? If Tony were lost to him forever?

“Are you okay, Tony?” Steve asked. “You look sick.”

“No -- no, I’m fine,” Tony lied. “Just thinking about work.”

“Right. We can leave if you want. I mean it.”

“Yes, take me home.”

Tony gathered up their coats, hats and gloves while Steve told people goodnight. Steve gave him a kiss on the nose as thanks for coat wrangling. Then he pulled on his “I Love Iron Man” knit hat. One of the best Christmas gifts Tony had ever given himself. Steve wore that hat everywhere.

In the back of the town car, heading home, Steve said out of the blue, “I’m thinking of getting a motorcycle.”

“A death trap on wheels?” No, no, Cap Steve had destroyed a motorcycle nearly every other week. 

“I’d wear a helmet -- I owned a bike before, Tony. I know what I’m getting into.”

Tony weighed his chances of getting laid if he lectured Steve on motorcycle safety. The odds were not in his favor. “Let me know when you want to go shopping.”

“I don’t want to you to buy it for me, Tony. I’ve got the money for it.”

There was an edge to Steve’s voice that reminded Tony very sharply of Cap Steve.

~~~~~

“I know your secret, Tony,” Steve accused him. Steve stood there in his bedroom wearing just his boxers.

“My secret?” Tony looked up from his laptop. 

“Yeah -- I see you checking a phone I’ve never seen before. Then you’ve had emergency appointments and couldn’t meet me.”

Tony’s blood ran cold. Either Steve was about to say that Tony was having an affair or he had found out that Tony was Iron Man.

He would prefer the affair. While Steve tolerated Tony’s funding of the Avengers, he also thought that superheroes lived too dangerous lives. Steve had Opinions on the subject -- he felt way too strongly that the Avengers risked their lives far too often and someone was going to die. He tended to specifically point out Iron Man in his arguments.

“And?”

Steve slid across the bed and pulled him into a hug. “I told you -- don’t buy a motorcycle for me. I love all that you do for me,Tony. You spoil me too much already. I have work and savings -- all I need is for you to shop with me.”

“You found me out. That’s what I was planning to do.”

“I love you,” Steve said with a squeeze. 

“I’ll cancel the order.”

“Thank you.”

In Tony’s lifetime of lies and deception, this was the most innocent lie, even if it still made him sick to his stomach. “I wish you’d let me spoil you,” Tony purred. 

“Well, let’s get on that right now.”

~~~~~

“I need Iron Man,” Jan said. “Full time -- he listens to me. Unlike anyone else on this team.”

“I can’t do that, Jan. He’s my bodyguard.”

“Couldn’t you make another suit, train someone to use that so we could have a full-time Iron Man?”

Tony hated when people fought him with reasonable logic. “Those suits are expensive with proprietary tech, I need to control access.”

He nearly stepped back -- he’d never seen Jan lose it. He reached out her to her and Jan collapsed in tears on his shoulder.

She wiped the tears away. “I’m not a crier, Tony, but this is honestly the hardest work I’ve ever done. And no one understands what I’m going through. I can’t do this much longer.”

“Come to the office tomorrow and we’ll talk about hiring more people.”

“Can’t be just anyone -- it needs to be someone who can lead the team in the field, knows how to train people to fight, has the talent to identify our team needs and develop tactics and strategy -- ”

Tony had known someone like that. And what were the Avengers without Captain America?

Right, back to the cosmic cube hunt.


	7. Chapter 7

“Cosmic cube?” Reed asked in his wonderful way that implied that Tony was batshit insane for suggesting such a thing existed in violation of all known and unknown scientific principles.

“You haven’t run into a reality-altering, see-through glowy cube yet? Because we have.”

“Hmmm.” Reed replied. “Have you consulted Dr. Strange? This seems more his purview.” 

“I’ve already been there.” Tony huffed. Then he said through gritted teeth, “There was a reality. Where we found Captain America, he was alive, he joined the Avengers. We got caught in a firefight between AIM and HYDRA. I touched what I think was a cosmic cube and now it’s like he didn’t exist. We need to get him back.”

“Thank you for telling me that you are Iron Man, Tony. I’ve had my suspicions over the past couple of years so I’m glad to know that I was on the right track.”

“Fine. Good to know. Back to my problem. We need to get him back.”

“Steve?”

“Steve Rogers. Captain America.” Tony ran a hand down his face. “Right, in this reality, no one knows who Captain America really was. His identity is still classified.”

Reed snaked a hand around his lab equipment to grab a pencil and paper. “You clearly remember this alternate reality. Are you sure you didn’t cross paths with this reality? Maybe open a door to a different dimension?”

“Like getting my wires crossed?”

“Yes. Exactly.”

Tony shook his head. “No. I know what I know. I’m a scientist and a trained observer. I know what I saw.”

“We could run tests,” Reed suggested, rubbing his chin. 

“I need a cosmic cube. The only leads I have point to AIM.”

“I will review my files on AIM in case I overlooked a mention of a cube.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m not promising anything, but I’ll let you know if I find anything.” Because, of course, Reed was humoring him and his nutty idea of a reality-altering glowy cube. But Tony would take what he could. 

Sue pulled Tony aside as he left the lab. “Tony, I overheard a bit of that conversation.”

“You could have joined us.”

“Did you lose someone you loved? In that other reality?”

“A friend, just a friend. Nothing more.”

“Tony,” she said sadly. 

He stood rooted in place, fragile and shaking. “It was just a friend.”

“And yet you’re willing to tear heaven and earth apart for him.”

“If you knew him -- you did know him before -- he do the same for me, for anyone.” Tony sighed. “You’d know that he’s worth everything.”

~~~~~

Tony wanted to erase the memory of the fight with Amora. It had been ugly from start to finish. The Enchantress, as Thor charmingly called her, was a longtime enemy of Thor’s. She’d taken him out first, frozen Iron Man in his armor, and sent Quicksilver back to last week. Wasp and Scarlet Witch improvised enough to trick Amora into going back to Asgard. Hawkeye showed up late because he’d gotten confusing and wrong directions about where to go.

The next day, Jan glumly reported the entire fiasco to Tony. “I told you -- someday we’d have our asses handed to us if we lost the muscle on the team.”

“But you pulled it out,” Tony replied encouragingly. He had been there, but he knew Jan needed bucking up.

Jan replied, “I know what you’re doing, Tony. I appreciate it, but you’re not an idiot and I’m not stupid. Fury warned me that Zemo seems to be building a team. Can we honestly beat Zemo’s team the way we are now?”

She wasn’t wrong.

~~~~~

The fallout from the fight with Amora meant Tony missed the opening for Steve’s exhibit at MoMA. To make it up to Steve, Tony played hooky from work on a Tuesday afternoon so they could visit the exhibit and avoid crowds. Steve said that he didn’t have to worry about that -- the exhibit wasn’t the biggest draw in the museum. 

“What do you think?” Steve asked. 

When they were first dating, Steve had shared his sketches. Which were gorgeous, although admittedly Tony was biased. Steve had gone with his idea of reimagining Captain America as a veteran of recent wars. Tony could see the promise in the blue line sketches. Then Steve mentioned offhand around Christmas that he had gone in a very different direction, but hadn’t shared any of the new work with Tony.

“It’s fascinating,” Tony replied easily. They were standing in front of a wall of images worked in different media. Each image reimagined Captain America as a black man, as a hispanic woman, as a daughter of superheroes, and a variety of other people.

They moved on to other works and Tony immediately recognized Steve’s work. He had rendered his sketch of recent veterans as Captain America into a fascinating triptych. He turned to Steve, who had an odd, faraway look on his face. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Nothing.” Steve twisted his mouth and narrowed his eyes like he was thinking hard. “Um, I found this whole project more unsettling than I expected.” He didn’t say more. 

They moved to the final part of the exhibit. Tony stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the final piece in the exhibit, a floor to ceiling painting dominating the back wall of the exhibit space. Tony hadn’t seen it earlier because it was hidden around the corner from the entrance.

“It makes the reveal more dramatic,” Steve explained when Tony turned to him.

Tony nearly snapped that he knew that. He’d grown up going to art exhibits and he knew how curators manipulated the audience’s viewing experience. They sure as hell got want they wanted out of Tony as he stood there staring at the painting. This -- this was obscene, a violation of the worst kind.

“Tony?” Steve asked. “Are you okay?”

Tony barked out a laugh. He hadn’t been okay in months. He might never be ever again.

“I didn’t mean --”

“You did that? You?”

“Well, you had said that if Captain America were alive today, he’d be a member of the Avengers. That’s what this is. I started sketching out ideas that night.”

Tony stared at the huge picture of the current Avengers -- Wasp in flight, Ant-man in the back with Thor, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver sitting on the floor in front, Hawkeye to the side, and in the center, Iron Man with an arm slung over Captain America’s shoulders. A family portrait set in the mansion library. Painted in a traditional realist portrait style, a deliberate choice of the artist to replicate a nonexistent photo. Tony didn’t need to read the accompanying label to know any of that.

How the hell did the Steve next to him know about the library? 

Gutted, flayed open and left naked to the world, Tony stood speechless and lost. 

“I’ve never painted anything that large before -- a couple of friends helped me finish it off and Sam manned the coffee machine for me.” Steve scuffed the floor with the toe of his shoe. “I poured everything I had into it --”

“You came up with this on your own,” Tony stated. He couldn’t even begin to unpack a thing about the painting. 

He could pick out tiny details of the Avengers costumes. The shiny red of the Iron Man armor, the fletching on Hawkeye’s arrows, the hair pins holding Scarlet Witch’s headdress in place, and slightly askew scales on Cap’s armor. Tony couldn’t remember if there were public pictures of the library since the mansion had been remodeled. 

Then he saw the shield leaning against an end table just on the edge of the painting, nearly disappearing under the frame edge. Exactly where Cap always put his shield when he was in the library. 

He turned to Steve. 

“You wouldn’t know it looking at it -- but it really tore me up inside as I worked on it. I had all these crazy dreams about Captain America, the Avengers -- I thought about the mansion and what it must look like. You probably gutted the mansion when the Avengers moved in and the original library is long gone --”

“You had dreams?”

Steve shook his head like what he said was nothing. “Large project, thinking about it all the time, I was working out ideas in my mind. I almost set this in one of the training rooms.”

Tony turned to face Steve directly. “Training rooms? One of the training rooms?” he asked slowly.

Steve took a step back, unnerving Tony even more. The OG Steve never did that, didn’t back down from a confrontation, always stood his ground. “I just assumed that the Avengers had training rooms…. It was in my dream.”

Tony drew himself up sharply. He’d learned over and over again that Steve in any form was far more intelligent than people gave him credit for. Did Steve guess or was something deeper at work here? The cosmic cube working its weird magic again?

He looked closely at the painting again. He wasn’t an art history student by any means, but he could see the parallels between Dutch Baroque portraiture and what Steve had done. This painting had more in common with Rembrandt’s Night Watch than any hidden memories.

“Yes, yes, of course there are training rooms. Let me take you out to lunch to make it up to you,” Tony offered.

Even as a peace offering, Tony had to talk Steve into going to Gramercy Tavern for lunch. Steve had never developed a taste for the same restaurants Tony preferred. It felt strangely familiar as Tony watched Steve try to pick out lunch that wouldn’t cost Tony a fortune. “It’s a prix-fixe menu, Steve.”

“It doesn’t feel right,” Steve finally said with a sigh as he put down the menu. “I’ve been so involved in the Captain America project and I have this new boyfriend -- I’ve dropped out of protesting and the other activism I’d been doing.” He twisted his mouth again in that ugly way he had earlier in the exhibit. “I have so much and I’m doing so little with it. I studied a lot about Captain America -- the other artists and I had a few meetings where we talked about what Captain America meant, what he had been like.”

“And?” Tony prompted. He had inched to the edge of his seat, his body tense with interest in what Steve was saying.

“No one could live up to the legend. I read accounts of what he did in WWII -- what he did before he left for Europe. Bigger than life. We all got this feeling that Cap would have expected great things for us. From us. I’m not sure I’m living up to that if I’m not fighting against the injustice out there.”

Tony thought he saw a flicker of something deep and familiar in Steve’s eyes.

Steve rubbed his chin. “I believe that’s why you fund the Avengers. To make the world a safer place.”

“I didn’t always believe that,” Tony admitted. “I had to learn the hard way that I had a calling to do something meaningful.”

“Hmmm.” Steve picked up the menu again. “We’re not talking about volunteering at animal shelters though.”

“I didn’t say anything about animal shelters.”

Steve leaned back in his chair. The afternoon sunlight filtered across their table while Steve sat like a statue, golden and silent, his eyes hooded and menu still in hand. Tony’s heart skipped a beat. “I think you’d prefer if I stayed away from anything difficult and possibly harmful. Animal shelters are safe, marching in protests, not so safe.”

“Fighting supervillains is even more dangerous,” Tony replied, his hand gripping the armrest on his chair. It had slipped out before he could stop himself.

Steve steepled his fingers. And at that moment he was Cap Steve, all squared shoulders and determination and fire in his eyes. Damn it all to hell, Tony missed him like this. Ready to fight, ready to argue for what was right, and Tony would follow in lock-step right behind. 

Desperately hoping and fearing, Tony held his breath, waiting to hear what Steve was going to say next. If there was a chance that he remembered, that this was Cap Steve, just under some magic spell, that he hadn’t been wished out of existence. 

Then Steve sat up and shook his head. “I don’t know --- I’ve been in a weird place with this exhibit. We should order lunch.”

Tony said nothing, but looked at the menu. The wind had been knocked out of him and he felt empty. 

“Are you okay, Tony?” Steve asked gently. 

“Feeling great,” Tony lied. But then again, he was a born liar after all. What was one more compared to all the rest?

~~~~~

Tony lied. 

He’d lied to the team, to Fury, to Strange, to Reed. To New Unimproved Steve.

Lied to himself. 

About what had happened to Cap, to his Steve, to the Steve he loved above all other Steves.

It had started with that Avengers mission against an AIM facility.

He’d reached the lab, with Cap keeping watch behind him. The fleeing AIM scientists had left the lab in complete disarray, chairs, lab equipment and computers tossed around the room. 

“Keep an eye out, Shellhead,” Steve said as he stationed himself by the door.

Tony did his usual scan, checking for unpleasant surprises first and then making a quick assessment about what the AIM scientists were up to. He didn’t find anything all that promising. But a strange glow caught his eye -- a glowing cube floating above a flat base in a glass case. 

“What the hell is that?” he asked Steve. He opened the case and pulled out the cube. 

“Iron Man -- watch out!” Steve shouted as he jumped in front of Tony. Bullets ricocheted off the shield. Tony shot his repulsors at the two AIM agents, immediately knocking them out.

Except for the third one. Who shot at them. Steve hit the agent with his usual deadly aim with the shield. The agent peeled off another round as he went down, hitting Steve several times in the abdomen and chest.

Tony blasted the agent into the floor and then caught Steve as he slid down. In the commotion he had dropped the cube at his feet. He cradled Steve, bleeding and weak, finally lifting the armor’s faceplate to get a better look. 

Steve managed a smile. “I knew it had to be you, Tony. No one else could be Iron Man.”

Steve was dying, they both knew it. “Hold on,” Tony demanded as he blinked back helpless tears. “Help is on its way.” Desperate, he watched as the light in Steve’s eyes dimmed. “Please,” he begged.

“It’s okay,” Steve told him. He reached a shaking hand to Tony’s face. “You’re amazing. I wish --”

Shifting his weight to better hold Steve, Tony placed his hand on the cube accidentally. A bright light had surrounded him. 

A blink later -- something hit the universe’s reset button. Tony had woken up in a world where Captain America had died at the end of his war and Steve Rogers was a freelance artist and would-be activist in Brooklyn.

Haunted by the memory of the other Steve, Tony racked his brain over and over again, reliving each moment to figure out what had happened. The key to the whole business had to be that single thought he’d had when he’d touched the glowing cube to save Steve. 

That glowing cube was the mysterious cosmic cube.

A magic wishing rock. Of course that’s what AIM would choose to spend considerable resources on creating. And Tony had ended up back in his bed on an October day in a world that had forgotten Steve Rogers. 

Steve had had an art class that night after they’d gone to the exhibit. He’d given Tony a distracted kiss and a promise to call. Tony waited for the call in his workshop, unable to code or work on the armor or the usual neglected pile of projects. He finally got a text instead. “Sorry. Late night. Love you. TTYL.”

Tony paced back and forth in his lab, turning his thoughts over and over.

For once in his life, Tony got exactly what he wanted. Steve Rogers loved him. Wanted to spend time with him, Tony Stark, and never questioned it. It was overwhelming and real and everything Tony had dreamed of being in love with Steve.

But it was all built on a lie and only because he’d taken away everything that made Steve tick so he would live. 

Just because he had the power to save Steve, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair. Steve’s words from lunch haunted him. “You want to keep me safe.”

He made up his mind just as dawn broke. He squared his shoulders, formed his plan, made his calls.

If Steve Rogers was all about the fight, Anthony Edward Stark was all about the sacrifice.


	8. Chapter 8

“What are we doing again?” Jan asked.

“We’re going to see a man about an AIM facility and what’s in it,” Tony said. “Williams is not expecting us, by the way.”

“We could have flown there,” Thor said. 

“Elevator’s less flashy. We’ll get an advantage after we leave.”

“Through the window. Good planning. That’s why you chose us for this mission.” Thor nodded his approval.

Tony didn’t pick Wasp and Thor because of the flying. He picked them because they were, for the most part, the only sane and level-headed people currently on the Avengers. Given better options, he would have picked Steve first, every time. But this was Operation Get Steve Back. 

So Wasp and Thor it was.

“Simon, Cosmic Cube. Where?” Tony asked after startling Williams in his office by slamming a hand on the guy’s desk.

“What? Iron Man? Avengers?” Simon replied confusedly.

“You told Tony Stark you knew about cosmic cubes. Whirlwind was buying chemicals for AIM; Dane Whitman did some mystery contract for you -- all connected to these cubes. Where can we find them?”

Simon bit his lip nervously and darted his eyes back and forth to Iron Man, Thor and Wasp. “I don’t -- um, right -- for one thing, it’s one cube.”

“One cube, got it.”

“AIM tells clients that they can make them. They don’t. They only brought one cube through a dimensional gateway.”

“How do you know so much about this cube?” Thor asked. He was now standing next to Simon, with his hand on his hammer.

Simon glanced up at Thor, then back to Iron Man. “I know people. They tell me things. They asked me to do some coding for them as a favor -- I hired Dane Whitman to do it.”

“Right,” Wasp said. “What else did your people tell you?”

Simon scrambled through the paper on his desk, pulling out a business card. “Here. The cube would be here.”

Wasp took the card. “This is an AIM facility? It’s an electronics warehouse in New Jersey.”

“Yeah, I promise,” Simon swore. “Also -- don’t handle the cube with your bare hands. Weird things can happen.” Simon warned them.

Tony already knew that bit of business. “Thank you -- and don’t go calling AIM. SHIELD just might want to know all about the people you know,” Iron Man told Simon.

Once inside the AIM facility, Tony ran scans as Wasp and Thor cleared out any stray AIM agents. Most had the good sense to flee as they marched determinedly through the hallways towards the laboratory that held the cube. A couple of AIM scientists tried to make a last stand around the cube, but Thor swung Mjolnir meaningfully and Jan showed off her bio-stingers and they thought better of it.

“What is that thing?” Jan asked while Tony used tongs to delicately move the cube from its stand to a sturdy container Tony had engineered for this purpose.

“A magic wishing rock from another dimension. Might be sentient. Don’t know yet,” Tony replied. He firmly shut the lid on the container.

“We’re keeping something that dangerous in the mansion vault?”

“Yeah,” Tony replied. “That’s why Mr. Stark built the vault. For things like these.”

Jan frowned. “It feels more like a Fantastic Four thing -- maybe we should take it to the Baxter Building instead.”

“I’ll call Reed.”

Not that Tony intended to keep the cube in the vault at all, much less call Reed. He’d already planned to switch out containers when they got to the mansion. Now he’d have to figure out how to fix everything. Going to be a long, long night.

~~~~~

Tony sat in his leather swivel chair, fingers steepled and eyes scrutinizing the iridescent cube hovering an inch above his wooden desk. He’d stayed up all night trying to figure out how exactly to use the cube. He had learned the hard way what could happen with poorly worded wishes. Except it wasn’t exactly a wish, he’d just hoped that Steve would be safe, could stay safe, that some power would make Steve be safe. 

He wanted his original Steve back, but he wanted Steve to be safe. If somehow he could wordsmith a hope that original Steve came back just like he was, but maybe with a greater sense of self-preservation and a love for using parachutes. Tony ran a hand over his face. He had to reword that somehow. 

After switching out the containers at the mansion, he’d headed over to Stark Industries to pick up a forgotten laptop. Then he was impatient to solve his problem and here he was, fourteen hours later. At least he’d changed into some spare clothes from his go-bag in the office and ordered dinner in. The messenger bag open at his feet also had a supply of protein bars and energy drinks at the ready. Just in case.

The cube twirled and shimmered in front of him.

The doorknob turned and the door opened a crack. Tony grabbed the tongs and tossed the cube back into the container before anyone could see it.

“Hey, Tony -- Bambi let me in. I’m here to take you to breakfast.”

Tony drank in Steve in his navy blue motorcycle jacket, chest-skimming light blue shirt, and those skinny jeans. Maybe he could add into the wish that his Steve would have a better wardrobe.

His stomach rumbled. “Give me a minute and I’ll be ready to go. Meet you in the lobby?”

“Sure.”

Tony locked the cube container in a safe he kept just for these circumstances. He grabbed the messenger bag so he could go to his next meeting after breakfast with Steve. 

The waitress at the corner breakfast place poured coffee for Steve and Tony as soon as they were seated. She gave Steve a wink when they put their orders in. “Am I going to have to fight the waitress for your favor?” Tony joked.

“I think that just means we’re regulars.”

Tony hadn’t really gotten used to Steve ordering an ordinary, everyday breakfast instead of the mounds of food the original version did all the time. Even after all these months, he somehow kept looking for Steve to be his Steve. 

Steve paid the bill at the register. “You’ve got a meeting?”

“Yeah, Happy will be here any minute.” They were waiting just outside the door of the restaurant, sheltering in the building entryway.

Leaning against the wall, Steve tapped a few times on his phone, then showed the screen to Tony. “I’m off to see a man about a motorcycle.”

The blood nearly drained from Tony’s face. He’d had this conversation with Cap many times. “You’re looking at motorcycles on Craig’s List.”

“That’s what I, a starving artist, can afford. I can fix it up. I told you I was looking for one.”

“Yeah -- but it’s a motorcycle off of Craig’s List -- you have no idea what’s wrong with it --”

They were interrupted by a shouting couple in the street. An older woman hurried past, muttering, “That’s not right.” A man in a red knit hat was yelling at a frightened woman who had covered her ears and was looking at the ground. Another woman was tugging on her coat.

Steve pushed off the wall. “Someone has to say something.”

Tony tried to grab his sleeve. “Let’s the cops deal with it, Steve.” Original Steve would have done the same thing, except that New Steve did not have any of his experience, training or serum. His stomach sank to the ground at the thought that this could go really bad, really fast.

Steve ignored him. “Hey, leave her alone.”

“Who the hell are you?” the man shouted at Steve. “Get lost.” He grabbed the woman’s shoulder and she twisted away from him. He pulled out a gun and waved it around.

No Steve was bulletproof. “Steve, he’s got a gun.”

The man pointed it at the woman. Steve grabbed his arm to wrestle the gun out of his hand. The man fell and the gun went off.

Hitting Steve in the stomach.

Tony had no time to scream as Steve fell back into Tony’s arms. “No, no, no, no,” Tony whispered. “Not again.” Steve’s eyes were fading quickly as the blood seeped across his abdomen. 

Just like before.

Tony’s messenger bag landed on the street, spilling out a can of energy drink, his laptop, and the cosmic cube. “How the hell --” Fucking hell, he’d thrown the cube into the bag, not the container.

Steve was dying. “Tony,” he gasped out.

“You’ll be okay, EMTs will be here any moment.” A dozen people around them were screaming into their phones, the shocked assailant had been subdued by a few men, and Steve was limp in Tony’s arms. He tried frantically to staunch the bleeding with his scarf.

_“You know that’s not true,”_ the cube said to Tony. 

And, fuck his life, the cube was sentient and could read his thoughts. Tony shook his head. He had no time for this. “Unless you’re offering something else, you can shut up.”

_“You wanted him safe. It’s impossible. You know that.”_

Tony wiped tears from his face. The sidewalk, the crowd, the wailing sirens faded away, leaving him alone in a white room, holding Steve. “What did you --”

The cube spoke again. _“You love him.”_

“Yes, I do.” Steve was unconscious, breathing shallowly. Dying. 

Tony cried, unable to hold back any longer. He desperately needed Steve to live.

_“You want him the way he was before.”_

Tony gently brushed his hand over Steve’s hair. “I want him to be his best self.”

_“Even if that means you lose him?”_

“Even if that means I lose him. I was wrong to think I could wrap Steve up in cotton wool and put him on a shelf to keep him safe. It’s not Steve, not the way he’d want things to be. He even managed to go out the same way.”

The room, if that was where he was, changed from white to swirling colors.The cube continued, _“Could restore you to before. But you cannot take back what happens.”_

“That’s the way of it, I guess,” Tony said. “As long as Cap gets what he wants.”

~~~~~

“Keep an eye out, Shellhead,” Steve said, stationing himself by the door.

Back where the whole mess had started. Tony clenched his gut and strode forward to scan the room. No AIM, no visible problems, just a glowy cube floating in its case.

Steve was going to die in five minutes. Tony could change it. He could die in place of Steve. The world desperately needed Captain America. He’d spent four months learning just how much. “Cap --”

Tony stepped in front of the door, ready for the AIM agents.

“Iron Man -- watch out!” Steve shouted as he shoved Tony out of the way. Steve shouldn’t have been able to do that given the weight of the armor, but he was driven. Tony caught the notes of desperation in his voice.

They didn’t have time to argue. Bullets ricocheted off the shield. Tony shot his repulsors at the three AIM agents, immediately knocking two of them out.

As before, he missed the third one. Who shot at them. Tony’s heart and arc reactor beat loudly in his chest, his breath labored. He braced himself, ready to watch Steve die. 

That was the deal, wasn’t it? Get Steve back. No guarantee that Steve would be safe. Contracts always had the fine print.

Steve lifted the shield. The AIM agent lifted his gun. Steve threw his shield with his usual deadly aim. The agent went down in an unconscious heap, his gun unfired.

Tony froze in his tracks as a completely unhurt Steve walked up to the agent to retrieve the shield. “Are you okay, Cap?”

“Good shot, Iron Man. I’d be a goner without you.” Steve smiled warmly at him. He pulled off the cowl.

“Except for that guy.”

“He missed.”

Because a giant vibranium frisbee hit him in the head first. Tony looked around the lab, then walked over to the pedestal in the middle of the lab. The cosmic cube was missing. Like it had never existed.

“You’re not going to find it,” Steve said. “Done with the computers?”

“What?”

“The cosmic cube. It went home.” Steve tapped his ear. “Update,” he said to the rest of the team.

This was his Steve all over, the confident walk, the intense face, the whole nine yards. Great to have him back, Tony thought, as he watched Steve go over orders to the team.

Tony checked the scans. Once Steve was free to listen, Tony said, “Too much to download. SHIELD is going to need months of forensic IT to sort all of this out.”

“Great. Fury told me he and his people are 10 minutes out. We can clear out when they get here.”

Tony would have prefered to lift the helmet up. But this Steve didn’t know who he was. Worse, this Steve didn’t love him. Having Steve back, coordinating the team as he was meant to, was the right thing. But Tony still felt the weight of what he’d lost in the trade.

Steve slung the shield on his back. “Thor’s left -- heading back for home. Wasp, Ant-man and Hawkeye are rounding up strays.” He bent over, checking under the worktables.

“What are you looking for? We took out the AIM agents.”

“Found it.” Steve opened a small refrigerator and handed Tony a cold soda. “There’s always a refrigerator in these places for lunches.”

Tony scanned the soda. “Seems safe enough. Any straws around?”

“You can take your helmet off, Tony — I know you’re Tony.” Steve was leaning against the table, feet crossed at the ankle. He opened one of the pouches on his belt to take out a little bag of trail mix.

“What?” Tony’s brain froze. Steve knew about cosmic cubes and his secret identity?

Tony popped the tab on the soda can. He lifted the visor to take a sip and took a handful of the trail mix Steve offered. The questions piled up in his brain.

“Anyone ever tell you that red and gold looks good on you?” Steve said.

“Are you flirting with me?” Tony narrowed his eyes. Steve couldn’t possibly remember! It was a one-for-one swap deal.

Steve deflated like a punctured balloon. “I shouldn’t assume that --”

“No -- no, wait. It’s okay to flirt -- don’t stop. But I don’t get how you know who I am or what the cosmic cube is.”

“I knew what it was when we got here. I saw a couple back in the war. Surprised to see them again.”

“They’re magic wishing rocks.”

“Sentient magic wishing rocks,” Steve pointed out. “AIM must have found a way to bring them here. We’ll have to figure out how to stop that.”

Tony glanced around the lab. “AIM had to use a lot of resources to pull this off. An interdimensional portal wouldn’t be a problem. Wait -- how did you know? About Iron Man?”

Steve closed his eyes. “It’s strange -- I remember feeling a lot of pain, and a voice saying _‘you are an artist in Brooklyn and will have everything you ever wanted’_ and then I had dreams where you and I met and --” He stared down at the ground.

“We fell in love.” 

Tony’s heart skipped a beat when Steve looked up at him through his long lashes. Just like he had when he was Artist Steve. He inched closer to Steve.

Maybe he hadn’t lost everything after all.

“A long dream -- I’m used to those. Then I heard the same voice again say that I was going home to Iron Man and Tony Stark. I was here just like it was before --” Steve smiled broadly. “I knew it had to be you, Tony. No one else could be Iron Man.”

Tony drew a deep breath “Are you okay with that?”

Steve snorted. “Feeling smart about it. I’d been wondering if you and Iron Man were the same person for a while now.”

“You remember what happened?”

“Like a dream, not like real life.” Steve tipped his head to the side. “It’s not like I didn’t want -- more like --”

Tony was standing next to Steve, close enough to touch him. “You are my Steve.”

“How can you tell?”

“You’re awful at flirting.”

“I should be direct?”

“Direct is your thing, Steve.”

Steve leaned in for a kiss and Tony closed his eyes, anticipating.

“Hey -- we’ve got Fury out here yelling for Cap,” Hawkeye shouted from the hallway. “Are you gonna get a move on?” He walked into the laboratory. “Oh, god, warn a guy, would you?”

Steve and Tony laughed.

~~~~~

One benefit to the cosmic cube switch was the world was reset to mid-October. Tony wondered if the team remembered like he and Steve did. He suspected something might be up with Jan, given her new ride-or-die support for Steve.

Tony never thought he’d be happy to see the carefully crafted schedules Bambi handed him during the week -- one from her for Stark Industries and one from Jan for Avengers. Jan conferred with Bambi over Tony and Iron Man’s availability. Steve was behind most of it -- he scheduled training sessions and team meetings like clockwork. And Steve was likely behind the item in big print at the end of the day -- “Date with Steve Rogers.”

He hoped that spending his mornings with Steve would never feel routine. 

That morning, Steve read his newspaper while Tony checked his email and meeting schedule. They were having breakfast just like old times, except that they were in Steve’s bedroom suite in the Mansion and Steve was notably wearing very little. “Long day?” Steve asked.

“One meeting and a conference call. A date with my guy.”

Steve smiled and folded up his newspaper. “Never thought I’d be grateful to a cosmic cube.”

Tony frowned. “I’m bothered that those things even exist. You know, Strange asserts they’re not in his area of expertise and Reed still thinks we made it all up.” He tapped his fingers on the bed as he considered his latest research into the cubes.

“I have training sessions with Clint this morning and art classes later.” He kissed Tony’s head as he got up.

The team had dispensed with secret identities in the aftermath of the AIM raid -- but only among the team. Steve had relaxed visibly when Jan made the announcement. Something about not knowing who his teammates were bothered him. Steve also told them that he was dating Tony and no one said anything. Jan laughed at Tony when he tried to ask if people were bothered. He got the hint.

His eyes lingered on Steve as Steve peeled off the bandages from the fight with the Masters of Evil the day before. To be honest, that was why he’d stayed with Steve in the Mansion after the debrief. Adrenaline-fueled sex was fantastic and not to be missed, but knowing that Steve was alive and whole in his arms was the best feeling in the world.

Tony took a deep breath as Steve examined his faded cuts and bruises in the mirror and did stretches to test out his now-healed strained muscles. He was never going to be able to keep Steve absolutely, positively safe in the field -- he had to trust that Steve would do his best to make it out unharmed. 

Better to have a bruised and battered but whole Steve instead of a part-Steve. If anyone told Tony that he’d believe this a year ago, he would have laughed hysterically. 

Admittedly, he’d always been a little in love with Steve, even from the days when all he knew about Steve was the legend of Captain America.

Tony threw on jeans and a sweater and raked a hand through his hair. He’d have a shower and change at the office. “See you later, babe.”

He walked through the kitchen on his way out and grinned at all the signs that Steve had been there. A little winghead doodle at the bottom of the grocery list for Jarvis on the refrigerator. The team’s training schedule, list of local martial art and weapons classes and other notes in Steve’s perfect handwriting on the bulletin board in the hallway outside the kitchen. The towering pile of books and debriefing notes next to Steve’s favorite chair in the library. 

Now he knew how much he’d missed all of it.

Jan popped out of the chair’s office. Her clothes were covered in paint. 

“How’s the remodel going?” he asked.

“Fantastic! I’ll have the painting done tonight. Wanda’s been a big help. She’s picking up paint and brushes.” Jan reached back in the office to snag a notebook. “Just wanted to check -- you want the last weekend in October off -- Thursday through Sunday?”

“Steve too.”

Jan snorted. “Steve is never going to take that much time off.”

“I can be persuasive. See you later.”

Pepper shoved him out of the door at 4 pm, telling him to get ready for his date and not stand Steve up. Not that Tony planned on that, but then he’d got to fiddling with designs. Pepper deserved a great present at the holidays.

He was meeting Steve in Central Park not far from Tony’s apartment. And there Steve was, wearing a trim brown motorcycle jacket and sketching in a moleskin. An echo of the other Steve -- his Steve was making the effort to dress more fashionably. For him, Tony, his boyfriend and partner in the Avengers. Like it always should have been....

“On time,” Steve said with a smile.

“I had help,” Tony confessed. “What are you drawing?”

Steve handed over the sketches done in colored pencils. “The leaves are going to be gone soon. Wanted to capture the color.”

“They’re really pretty --”

“The Iron Man Trees? Red and gold like my hero?” Steve said. He stood up, gathering his pencils and packing them in the ever-present portfolio he strapped to his back.

Tony almost said something about Steve taking the shield on their date. Except he would have had to admit to carrying a remote to summon the armor if needed. Hazard of being superheroes on a date.

“I have the evening planned out,” Tony said.

“Oh?”

“I have to pull out all the stops if I’m going to seduce you into going away with me on a long weekend trip.”

Steve gave him a beautiful smile as he held Tony’s hand. “Guess I’m in for a heck of a good time.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for The Fabric of Reality](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505639) by [jayjayverse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayjayverse/pseuds/jayjayverse)




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